


If I Lose Myself

by iHarp



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-07 09:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iHarp/pseuds/iHarp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teddy Remus Lupin was a boy born in a war, a war that affected him before he'd even spoken his first word. His life had never been particularly easy, but there was almost always one light that got him through: Victoire Weasley. That is, until she broke up with him. Now, several years later, the wizarding world might be in trouble again, and when Teddy begins going on rogue missions with the Auror Department, only one person will help him - the girl who broke his heart. As the situation gets worse and feelings start to complicate things like they did the first time, Teddy and Victoire will face an interesting predicament. It might be up to them to single-handedly protect the wizarding world... and each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue I: Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Before I got started, I just wanted to do a few quick announcements regarding this fic. I hope updates will be relatively frequent and regular, but sometimes I write too slowly so we're going to have to see. More importantly, everyone needs to understand that while I might be solely responsible for writing this fic, the concepts for the Victoire and Andromeda belonging to this version of events belong to the one and only Niko (therealandromeda), as this Teddy belongs to me. As a result, this telling of the Teddy/Victoire story is our personal property, though of course all original Harry Potter material goes back to belonging to J.K. Rowling. And thank you in advance to all the personal beta readers that I force to help look chapters over, especially Niko!
> 
> Enjoy!

_Not everyone damaged by the war fought in it._

The spring air was unusually hot on that sunny afternoon, and the hundreds of witches and wizards that had gathered on the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry felt practically smothered despite the fact that many of them were dressed in garb appropriate for the current weather. Perhaps it was the stifling air of emotion that had brought them here in the first place, or the humidity in the air, or the overall silence that seemed to engulf the entirety of the grounds despite the fact people were talking to each other and trying to keep things light.

It was May 2nd, 2000.

Among the mob of gatherers was a weary-looking woman in her late forties, here mostly because she had received a personal invitation from Harry Potter himself, who appeared to be the star of the day. Her dark hair, peppered with too many gray hairs than should have been considered natural, was tied away from her face, and did nothing to cover the sheer exhaustion and grief in her sharp green eyes. In her arms was a squirming little boy, hardly over two years old, who was clearly uncomfortable in the sticky heat. Constant whimpers and grunts of “no” escaped him as his hair color continuously (and mysteriously, if nearby observers weren’t aware of the reason) shifted from red to orange and vice versa, and consistently he was shushed in a gentle tone by the woman who carried him so tenderly.

“I’m glad you could come, Mrs. Tonks. And that you brought Teddy.”

The woman looked up to find herself face to face with a nineteen-year old Harry Potter, who’d emerged from the crowd and was dressed in his dark Auror’s trainee robes. Her mouth tightened slightly at the sight of him, as just seeing him on this particular day was yet another reminder of all she had lost, but Andromeda Tonks acknowledged him with a terse nod. When he didn’t leave, she frowned in thought and stared, silently prompting the young man to ask whatever was on his mind.

“I was wondering if… if maybe I could hold him, for a minute?”

Andromeda observed him carefully for a moment before nodding again. She hardly trusted herself to speak as she took a few steps towards him and offered up the still squirming toddler in her arms.

“Be careful with him,” she managed to snip as Harry awkwardly took Teddy from her, taking him in his arms no lack of tender care. The transfer did nothing to sooth the little one’s nerves evidently, who squirmed uncomfortably and grumbled “no” again, but he grasped at Harry’s dark robes with his tiny hands, like he found the darkness they offered to be more preferable to the weather that was making him hot and unhappy. At the disheartened look on Harry’s face, the older woman sighed impatiently. “He’s just hot and wants to walk around. It has nothing to do with you. I’ll have to take him inside soon.” 

“The castle’s cooler, and the ceremony won’t be for another hour,” Harry informed her, like he was trying to awkwardly agree. “We could go there now, if you wanted. I… I wanted to talk to you anyway.” 

Raising an eyebrow, Andromeda nodded. She asked if he was capable of carrying Teddy all the way to the castle, and he said that he could. While she didn’t entirely believe him, she was honestly too exhausted to put up a protest. Instead she settled for just keeping a very close eye on him and her grandson as they moved fluidly through the massive crowd. 

A large crowd really _had_ turned out for the memorial ceremony, the second year it was being held. The first year, Andromeda had simply refused to come, unwilling to deal with the massive crowds and much more content to stay at home, pretending nothing was different as she cared for young Teddy. She’d had no interest in coming to put on a brave face, to try and pretend like she was recovering from the loss of her husband and daughter, and even her son-in-law, despite the fact she’d been wary of him at first. The gaping hole in her had not gotten any easier over time, just more manageable. As they wound their way through the masses of people, she struggled not to meet anyone’s gaze, but took a moment or two to observe those that had come.

Most of the gatherers were Ministry workers, and the rest were people who’d either fought in the war, had lost someone because of it, or those that had formerly been in hiding. It was this last group that was particularly hard for Andromeda to see, knowing that, in the back of her mind, her beloved Ted might have been among them. Certainly not wanting to venture down _that_ road right now, she shoved the thought from her mind and mused that there many less redheads and gingers amongst the crowd than she might have thought. Something about a new baby being born, so she heard, from what she could remember from Harry’s last letter.

To her pleasant surprise, she found that Harry was indeed perfectly capable of carrying her grandson all the way to the castle, where they retreated inside to the cooler air of the indoors. Immediately, once they’d entered the boundary for the cooling charm that must have been placed on the air in the entrance hall, Teddy seemed to quiet, but soon after started squirming even more, his hair turning purple, as he reached for the stone floor.

“Awk,” he chirped. “Awk.” 

“He wants to get put down,” Andromeda informed a rather startled Harry, who hurriedly put the toddler on the floor like he might get burnt if he didn’t do exactly what Teddy wanted. His nervous jumpiness around the boy wasn’t entirely alien to Andromeda, who had seen and even experienced such anxiety around children before. The only thing that made her more tolerant of his behavior was the knowledge that he cared for Teddy at least half as much as she did. He wasn’t able to stop by too often, but his letters came often enough, and he’d made it a point to attend Teddy’s second birthday just a little less than a month beforehand.

While he couldn’t walk with expert skill yet, the toddler managed to waddle over to his grandmother and clung to her leg for support, looking around in avid interest at his surroundings while the two adults looked at each other in a momentary silence.

“Bill and Fleur had their baby earlier today,” Harry started to say, clearly fishing for a topic of conversation.

“How wonderful for them,” Andromeda answered acidly, struck bitter by the mention of someone else’s happy ending. “If that was all you wished to speak to me about, you can feel free to return outdoors any time you’d like. As kind as the Weasleys have been to me, I don’t have a particular interest in their family politics.”

“No, no, I-“ Harry shifted awkwardly, and upon realizing that she must have been the cause of his discomfort, Andromeda sighed, but did not lessen her scrutinizing gaze. This was as odd for him as it was for her, was all she realized. “I’ll be graduating from the training program in about a month. I know I have no right to be asking this, but… I was wondering if you might be willing to come to the ceremony and the reception afterwards. You could bring Teddy, if you wanted, I-“ 

The older woman raised a hand to stop him. “I’ll have to think about it,” was all she replied. In a sense, she was touched by the offer, and recognized it as an attempt to try and see her and Teddy more often, but the thought of attending another Auror initiation ceremony, knowing it would only remind her of having attended Dora’s… she couldn’t make a call right then. As an afterthought, she added, “But thank you for the offer.”

“I was hoping I could stop by on Sunday and spend some time with you guys, by any chance. Hermione and Ron would be with me, so I’m not exactly sure…”

“I’m not exactly a practiced hostess, but you’re welcome to come, as are your two friends, if they want,” Andromeda replied, giving the young man a knowing look. She glanced down when she no longer felt Teddy holding onto her pant leg, and found him wandering back over towards Harry, his hair turning the bright blue like it did whenever he saw or found someone or something that he liked. The sight made her smile slightly. If there was one relief she had from the grief that had become her permanent state of being, it was the two-year old in their midst. He was all she had left of the family she’d cherished so much.

Harry was about to open his mouth to reply, clearly joyed by her positive response, when a bushy-haired brunette Andromeda recognized as Hermione Granger stepped inside to join them. “Harry,” she was saying, “Kingsley’s just outside, he wanted to talk to you about something but wasn’t sure…”

“I’ll be right there.”

He reached down just as Teddy reached him and ruffled his bright blue hair, and the toddler shrieked in delight. “I’ll see you later, little guy. I’ll write you, Mrs. Tonks, about Sunday, if I don’t get a chance to talk to you before then.” 

Andromeda nodded in acquiescence as she came over and swooped the toddler up into her arms, holding him close as Harry walked back out the door, leaving her alone with her grandson in the entrance hall that, oh so many years ago, had once housed her and a particularly handsome muggleborn named Ted Tonks, and would someday also house his namesake that was currently in her arms. Who, at that particular moment, found it appropriate to wrap his tiny arms around her neck, as if he could tell exactly what she was thinking.

“Love you, Gwan-Gwan,” he whispered.

 

**~ findo narratum ~**

_The war caused nightmares in those that couldn’t even understand them._

It wasn’t often that young Teddy Lupin had nightmares, but when he did, they were fairly terrifying.

Now, a four-year old might not have fully comprehended what death was or what battle looked like, but Teddy  _was_ aware that death had the ability to take and _had_ taken people away from him. And the dream itself hadn’t been that memorable, seeing as he forgot it the second he scrambled awake with tears streaked down his face. But there was one thing from it that Teddy wasn’t going to be forgetting any time soon, and it was the very thing that had him sobbing before he’d even opened his eyes or was even fully awake.

His Gran had been dead, everyone had been dead, and Teddy had been _all_ alone.

The dark quiet of his room and the rest of the house that he shared with his grandmother did nothing to sooth his rattled nerves, and so a crying young Teddy crawled out from the warm security of his blankets and ventured out into the hall. As the soft glow from his nightlight faded as he went further towards where he knew his grandmother’s room to be, his lip trembled. He had never been overly fond of the dark. So this only spurred him to move a little faster, his small feet pattering against the carpet as he scurried onward. Teddy only wanted to know that he wasn’t alone, and the comfort that only his Gran could provide.

His grandmother’s room wasn’t any lighter, but something about knowing she was nearby and could protect him from the monsters no-doubtedly lurking in the dark made him feel safe. He padded forward to the edge of the bed, where he could discern the curled up form of his Gran under the covers.

“Gwan-Gwan?” came his quivering, quiet voice. When at first she didn’t respond, his lip trembled as he reached up and tugged at her comforter. “Please wake up, Gwan.”

“I’m awake,” his grandmother sighed. “It’s not time to get up, Teddy, go back to bed.”

Teddy shook his head, even though she couldn’t see it. “I can’t,” he whined truthfully. “I had a bad dweam.” The pounding of his head and the shakiness of his limbs only reinforced that fact.

It was only a moment later that Andromeda sat up and turned on the lamp on her bedside table. Teddy rubbed his eyes, sniffling, at the sudden change of light, and looked back up a moment later to find his Gran observing him, taking in his tear-stricken face and the fear in his wide blue eyes. Almost immediately, her expression softened, and she sighed again.

“Oh, Teddy,” she said sadly. “Everything’s okay. Come here, love.”

He wasted absolutely no time in clambering up onto his Gran’s bed and settling into her lap as he’d done so many times before. He wrapped his arms around her neck and buried his face into her chest, taking comfort in the sound of her heartbeat and feeling her arms wind around him in return. Ever so gently, she started rubbing circles into his back and he relaxed into her. Gran was warmth, she was safety, and the immediate fear left over from the nightmare started to melt away, even though the images still haunted the forefront of his mind.

“Are you alright?”

Teddy nodded against her chest. “I got scared,” he whimpered. “You was gone, in the dweam. Everybody was gone, and nobody else wanted to take care of me. Nobody loved me anymore.” His voice quivered at the last sentence as he struggled not to cry.

There was only a brief pause before Andromeda’s arms tightened around him and he felt her kiss the top of his head. “Teddy, love, never worry about that. I’ll always be here, and I’ll always love you. _Never_ doubt that there will always be someone who loves you. You’re so very loved, Teddy, so very loved.”

“I love you, Gwan-Gwan,” Teddy whispered. “I love you lots.”

“I know.” It almost sounded like his grandmother was choking on laughter, but he couldn’t tell as she repeated a moment later in a quieter voice, “I know.”

They settled into a comfortable silence for a few moments, reveling in the other’s warmth. It was during those precious moments that Teddy felt the last of the fear and doubt from his nightmare disappear, and he wished that he could stay in his Gran’s arms forever. A part of him knew that she was the only one that could ever truly understand how he felt, that they were all the other had left in the world in terms of a real family. As the warmth spread through him, he felt the familiar sensation of his hair changing color – Andromeda ran her fingers through the now bright blue locks with a faint smile on her face.

“Feeling better? How about going back to bed, love?”

Teddy felt a twinge of fear at the thought of going back to being alone in his dark room, where the nightmare might come for him again, so he pulled back and looked at his Gran anxiously, almost pleadingly. Once again, images from his nightmare flashed to the forefront of his mind, and as if she could read right into his thoughts, his grandmother sighed. Another moment passed in silence as they appeared to hit an impasse, until finally Andromeda gave in. 

“Do you want to stay here with me tonight?”

She sighed once more when Teddy nodded enthusiastically. The idea that he wouldn’t have to leave the safety that his Gran offered made him a lot happier than he would probably ever admit out loud.

“Alright, alright,” Gran said as if she’d just lost a battle. “Come on, then. Under the covers with you, young man, I won’t have you getting out of lessons tomorrow because you’re too tired.” She peeled back the covers on the other side of the bed and gently patted the mattress beneath it. 

Brightening significantly, little Teddy skittered off her lap and crawled over to the space she’d indicated. As he laid down and settled in, his Gran tugged the blankets up to cover him and tuck him in, just as she normally did when he went to sleep in his normal bed, like she’d done just a few hours ago. Once he’d relaxed back against the pillows, she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “Good night, Teddy. Sleep well. I love you.”

Already the four-year old looked drowsy as he smiled shyly up at her and mumbled, “Good night, Gwan-Gwan. I love you too.”

And that should have been the end of it, Andromeda decided, as she turned off the light and settled back down herself. She had never allowed Dora to sleep on the bed with her and Ted, yet with Teddy, she knew it would have been cruel to turn him away. She’d assumed that he’d fallen asleep seeing as a few minutes went by in complete silence from his side of the bed.

But then she heard rustling, like he was starting to shift around again. She sorely hoped that he wasn’t having another nightmare, so she slowly rolled over to try and see what was going on, only to find that Teddy had been in the process of burrowing under the covers and worming his way over towards her. Without saying a word, he curled up right next to her, burrowing his way into her arms, and rested his head on her arm. She opened her mouth to tell him that he ought to get back to his side of the bed, before she realized his breathing was deep and rhythmic – he’d already passed out.

Not having the heart nor the energy to move him, the grandmother just sighed and wrapped her arms more tightly around Teddy, falling asleep and, for the first time in a long time, sleeping through the night.

 

**~ findo narratum ~**

_The war was a scar that wizarding society that all the young and old would remember for always._

It was one of those days that Teddy got to spend with his godfather and the rest of the Potters, as a new little one had joined the family only a few years before, and he loved getting the chance to go over to see little James Sirius, who was now but three. He got huge delight when the younger boy took the chance to follow him around, and it had become one of Teddy’s favorite games to play hide-and-seek with the little Potter. 

But he wasn’t playing hide-and-seek right now. He was currently walking alongside his godfather, walking down Diagon Alley and looking about in wonder at everything they passed. He’d been here a few times alongside his Gran, but every time he seemed to notice something new, and every time something interested him, his hair would spike blue. His godfather would grin down at him and wink every once in a while when he noticed it. Little James Sirius was dozing off in his stroller, currently being pushed by the fierce Mrs. Potter. She was always nice to him, but Teddy much rather preferred the company of his godfather than hers.

They were apparently on their way to one of the Weasleys’ abode, as it was someone’s birthday. Teddy hadn’t technically been invited to the party, but Harry had seen it fit to bring him along, especially exciting him when telling him that his dear little friend Victoire would be there. She might have been two years younger than he was, but he always loved getting to spend time with her, considering she was the only one of the Weasley clan even remotely close to him in age. An eight-year old Teddy treasured whatever playtime with her he could get, since in reality she was the _only_ one he could get real playtime with. Living alone with his grandmother generally meant his contact with other children was limited but for when she either took him to the Weasleys or lent him to Harry and his family for a day.

It was as they were walking through Diagon Alley and crossed a newer-looking square that the Potter family stopped, and Teddy very nearly kept walking without them. Had he not glanced over his shoulder to see that his godfather and his wife had stopped to look up at a massive marble statue, he would have.

“Hey, what’re we waiting for?” he asked as he neared them coming back their direction, but neither adult appeared fit to answer him.

“They finally put it up,” Harry murmured. “About time, it’s been almost ten years.”

“Harry,” Ginny chastised him quietly from his side. “Besides, I thought you knew it was going up this week? It’s been in the Prophet all last month, Kingsley-“

“I’ve barely had time to read the Prophet, let alone talk to Kingsley, the paperwork’s been piling up…”

Curious, Teddy saw fit to see what it was specifically they were looking at. It was a massive marble statue, modeled to look like some kind of bird, but even he couldn’t name what exactly it was. Glancing at the Potter family, Teddy decided that they weren’t going to be leaving him behind any time soon, so without really thinking about it, he scampered forward to take a closer look. Because the massive base, which was twice as tall as Teddy was himself, seemed to be littered in some kind of writing.

But as he neared closer, he realized that it wasn’t just writing. It was a series of names.

He wasn’t the quickest reader, but he comprehended what the top of the statue said quickly enough. _Fallen Muggleborns from the Second Wizarding War_. There were a lot of names on this list, Teddy noted, but he wasn’t entirely sure what fallen meant. Because surely if someone had just fallen down, they didn’t deserve a statue built in their names. Or, rather, he didn’t comprehend what ‘fallen’ meant until he saw a particular name amongst the list. A name he recognized, a name he shared.

_Theodore “Ted” Tonks_. 

Oh. Fallen Muggleborns meant muggleborns that had _died_. Theodore Tonks was his grandfather’s name, one of the people Gran had lost. He’d never met or seen his grandfather, as far as he was concerned, but seeing his name here on a monument… it was somewhat startling. He stared at that name for a moment, reaching up and letting his fingers trace gently over the engraving. Theodore was _his_ name. Nobody ever called him Ted, and now he was fairly sure he knew why. Realizing that his grandfather’s name might not be the only familiar one he’d come across, Teddy looked back up at the title. _Fallen Muggleborns_. This wasn’t the right side.

Without hesitation, he dashed around to another side of the monument. _Fallen at the Battle of Hogwarts_. Gulping, he looked down at the names here, knowing what he would find. Suddenly, Teddy felt nervous, his heart pounding in his chest. He’d seen pictures, and people always told him what they were like, but something about this felt different. Seeking them out, actually _looking_ …

And then he found them.

_Nymphadora Lupin_ , and just beneath her name, _Remus Lupin_.

The hand he suddenly felt on his shoulder made him jump, and Teddy looked up to see his godfather smiling down at him with knowing, saddened eyes. A part of Teddy remembered when he was five, when he first began to notice that something was odd about his situation, when Harry had told him that he’d grown up without parents either. His parents had been killed by the very dark forces that had taken Teddy’s too. But seeing their names here, like that somehow solidified the fact that he never _would_ see them or meet them or talk to them… 

It suddenly made him want to run home to his Gran and cry. He didn’t feel much like going to some birthday party, Victoire or no.

“I shouldn’t have brought you by here, Teddy,” his godfather said with a sigh. He sighed and squeezed the boy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. They were good people, but I guess telling you that won’t make much of a difference, will it?” After a pause, when Teddy didn’t answer, he sighed again and said, “Let me show you something.” 

Gently, Harry nudged the boy around the corner to the next side of the monument. Here, the heading was _Fallen during the First Wizarding War_. Teddy didn’t quite understand why his godfather had brought him to this particular side, until he gently gestured towards two names in particular. _James Potter_ and _Lily Potter_. He looked up at Harry in curiosity and wonder.

“Are they your mom and dad, Uncle Harry?”

Harry nodded. He crouched down next to Teddy so the pair of them were at the same eye-level, and Teddy looked from him to the statue to try and discern through what he was feeling. He wanted so badly for someone to know exactly what he was going through, but his childish mind had convinced him that of course nobody ever would. And in a way, Gran was just about the only one who understood how sad not having his parents around made him sometimes. Yet, if there was one person who could understand growing up without them, someone who had actually lived through it, Teddy knew it was his godfather.

“I never knew my parents either,” he confessed quietly. “I know I told you that my parents died when I was little like you, but I meant it. I was only a year old when my Mum was killed right in front of me. I grew up with my aunt and uncle, like you’re growing up with your Gran. And she loves you very much, you know that, don’t you?”

Teddy nodded. He sniffled and felt the sting of tears starting to form, but he wiped them away angrily. He was a big boy, and big boys didn’t cry, he told himself.

“Nobody will be able to bring them back, but they’ll always be there for you, watching out for you. I know they loved you.”

“How do you know?” Teddy whispered. “How do you know they still love me now?”

“I just do,” Harry replied. “Plus someone taught me when I was younger that love’s the most powerful magic of all. There’s no way they would ever stop loving you. My mum and dad still love me, and I know they watch out for me. Yours do too.”

“You really think so?”

His godfather just smiled and nodded. Gently reaching out and ruffling the boy’s multi-colored hair, he said, “Now come on. We’ll come by here another day and have a nice long talk about all this when you’re older. Let’s go see little Toire.”

Hearing the name of his closest friend, Teddy immediately perked up, for once not even bothered when his godfather laughed in response and pushed himself to his feet. Harry retreated back towards Aunt Ginny and their son in the stroller, who’d apparently woken up and was squirming, leaving Teddy staring at the great marble phoenix for a moment. When Harry called for him again, Teddy smiled up at it.

“Bye Mum. Bye Dad. I’ll talk to you later, okay? You too, Grandpa. I’ll tell Gran you said hi,” he whispered before scampering off to join his second family, suddenly much happier than he’d been moments to go to see the Weasleys and, most importantly, his very best friend Victoire.


	2. Prologue II: Victoire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She'd been his best friend, his everything, practically... until she broke up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the second chapter! I hope you enjoy~ Just a friendly reminder that the concepts for the Victoire and Andromeda featured in the fic come from the mind of my dear friend Niko, who provided special help for this chapter and its content.

_They were best friends right from the start._

“Teddy. Pst. Teddy, wake up.”

Six-year old Teddy Lupin rarely slept away from his grandmother’s home, but whenever little Victoire Weasley insisted, he made exceptions as long as his Gran allowed it. On this particular evening, his Gran had agreed to him staying at Shell Cottage for a sleepover, when in truth Victoire had begged him to stay. That being said, Bill and Fleur had provided him with blankets and pillows to sleep on their couch, as they had no extra room to put him in. They had little Dominique in the house now as well in a room of her own.

He never slept well when not under his Gran’s roof, and so he’d been tossing and turning for most of the night already. It also explained why he responded not a few seconds after Victoire had nudged him, “Mm? What is it?”

Teddy didn’t get a verbal reply right away. Instead, tiny hands were pushing him aside, further into the folds of couch fabric. Realizing the younger girl’s goal, he shifted tiredly and lifted his blankets. Sure enough, a warm body was snuggled against his own not a minute later, and the whispered confession came,

“I had a bad dream, Teddy.”

“My Gran says it’s good to talk about bad dreams,” Teddy informed her just as quietly, albeit sleepily. He yawned. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Movements against his chest told the young boy that Victoire had buried her head against his torso and that, no, she didn’t wish to speak about what had happened in her dream. Instead, she asked,

“Can I stay with you? I’m not allowed to sleep with Papa when Maman has any say.”

Yawning again, and eager to just try and go back to sleep, Teddy couldn’t help but answer, “Don’t see why not.”

This answer must have delighted the little girl, because she squealed quietly and wrapped her arms around his neck and curled quite close to him. While Teddy was by no means used to company while he slept, he found the closeness quite nice, even comforting, and pulled the blankets up over the pair of them. As Victoire quieted, Teddy shut his eyes again, feeling relaxation seep into his muscles. It was just as he was drifting off to sleep again that the girl piped up.

“Teddy, can I ask you a question?”

He grunted his acquiescence.

“Am I your best friend?”

The question took him by surprise, and he opened his eyes to find that Toire was staring up at him with her wide baby blue ones. There was curiosity there, he saw, but also fear, like she was afraid of what he might say. Something about her expression, either way, told him that he needed to answer carefully and truthfully, so he thought for a moment.

Admittedly, he didn’t know Victoire very well. Or, rather, he hadn’t known her for very _long_. Teddy had only been two when Toire was born unto Bill and Fleur, and while he frequented the Weasleys’ homes and gatherings, it was always with Harry, and only with him. At these gatherings, while there were often a multitude of male relatives and Weasley family members willing to play with a boisterous and cheerful young boy, there were no children. At least, until Toire had come along. At first uninterested in a tiny baby, and a _girl_ at that matter, for a long while, Teddy was relatively indifferent.

But then Toire had grown. And she was just as boisterous and cheerful as he, most of the time, and they got along splendidly whenever they were together. The only two children at the time, Teddy and his newfound companion had been more than content to chase after each other and run around until they were both exhausted.

Were they friends? Of course. But were they best friends?

“Yeah,” Teddy answered for both himself and Victoire. He’d never had a friend like her before. “I think we are.”

This evidently was another answer that delighted her, because she giggled and squeezed his neck gently, like a hug. “You’re my best friend too.” Her words pierced the quiet one final time before the two children dozed off in each other’s arms, to be discovered the next morning by an amused Bill and his frustrated wife.

**~ findo narratum ~**

_She understood things nobody else did._

The moon was bright, and the air chillier than usually characteristic of May. The castle of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was all but silent, its walls safely housing the students tucked safely in their beds and sleeping away the night.

All the students, of course, except for a fourteen-year old Gryffindor named Teddy Lupin.

The young third year was padding quietly through the corridors in his pajamas and slippers. If any ghosts that passed him, or inhabitants of the paintings on the wall, noticed him, they either ignored him or understood the reason he was out and about. The hourly night-time bells tolled somewhere off in the distance, resonating through the night and vibrating Teddy’s bones. Prefects were likely to be out on rounds soon, and he was perfectly aware he needed to be gone from the corridors by then, but he had this routine down. He knew where he was going, how to get there, and all the best ways to avoid trouble on the way. Not that anyone would really be able to turn him away when they found out the reason for his sneaking about the corridors on this particular evening.

It was, after all, May 1st, and fourteen years ago today was the eve of the Battle of Hogwarts. Fourteen years ago right now, people had been struggling for their very lives.

To many of the students, the very idea that fighting had gone on in the very corridors they walked every day was understandably overwhelming. People had died where they ate their meals or ran around in the sun. The castle they lived and learned in had been the site of a vicious finale to a terrible war. Truths like that were always hard to digest. But for a select few, Teddy Lupin being one of them, it was just a simple truth. After all, many of them had lost something here. And everyone knew that Teddy had lost his parents.

On most days he hardly thought about it. But on nights like tonight, he had an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach as he remembered that his mother and father had died heroes within these very walls. So many things had happened here, and perhaps his loss as an infant had given him an insight that not many young people had. Gran had met Grandpa Ted here – they’d fallen in love in these corridors, on these grounds. His father had gone to school here, had made best friends with Uncle Harry’s dad. Maybe Teddy was even sleeping in the same bed his father had once used. His mother had gone to school here, tripping through the halls and over statues that still remained. But most importantly, his mother and father had lost their lives here. Fighting for a better world where he could live happily.

He wondered if they knew how happy he was. If they knew that their sacrifice hadn’t been in vain.

These kinds of thoughts always haunted him around this time of year, and as his feet swept him off to his special place, Teddy found himself lost in thought. He might have physically gotten lost if he hadn’t already traversed this route several times before.

The battlements up in the towers were always dead silent this time of night, and while a lot of them had been destroyed in the battle, during reconstruction on the castle, extra care had been taken to recreate the places where so many brave people stood on this night all those years ago. Teddy was making his way towards a certain area, a place that had been pointed out to him during his first year by his godfather, who’d come to give his annual guest lecture in Teddy’s Defense class. A specific battlement that he’d been told was where his parents had stood, together, probably for the last time before the battle separated them and subsequently took them from this world.

When he reached it a few minutes later, without saying a word he sank into a sitting position against a column and stared out over the grounds. Uncle Harry had told him once that his parents were always watching out for him, that they’d always love him. And like he always did when he sat in that particular spot, Teddy wondered if that was true. Could they see him now? Were they there with him? Why had they left him to fight, if they loved him so much? Why had they left him and his Gran all alone?

He wasn’t sure how long he was there, the moon’s silvery light bathing his features – which he currently had completely natural, to honor his parents. Shaggy sandy-blond hair hung over a heart-shaped face, blue eyes, and a small nose. People told him he looked like his mother, and others told him he looked like his father. His eyes, they said, came from his Grandpa Ted, a sign that he’d been aptly named. Theodore Remus Lupin.

Maybe hours passed, maybe minutes, but eventually the sounds of gentle footfalls alerted the third year Gryffindor that someone else was approaching. But he didn’t look their way. If it was a professor, they’d likely leave him be when they saw who it was and realized that he wasn’t causing any trouble.

Instead, a soft and melodic voice reached his ears. “I thought you might be here.”

Teddy looked up to see an eleven-year old Victoire (she’d be turning twelve tomorrow, or was it today?) standing beside him, an unreadable expression in her own blue eyes. In the moonlight, her silvery-blond hair almost appeared white. She was wrapped up in her blue-and-silver Ravenclaw pajamas, and Teddy felt a spark of amusement to see she’d come from her tower barefoot. Giving her a small smile, he looked back out over the grounds and said,

“You should be in bed, Toire.” There wasn’t much force behind his words.

“So should you,” came the quiet response, though an indignant and stubborn tone was easy enough to pick out. Her message was clear enough to Teddy, who’d been attuned to her moods and voice for a long time now. Victoire had come up here for a reason, and until that reason was seen through, she wouldn’t be leaving. And he had the feeling the reason had something to do with him.

“You know why I’m not.”

“Yeah. I do. Can I sit with you for a while?”

Teddy didn’t see why not. He shrugged. He was used to being alone up here, but that didn’t mean it would be a bad thing to have some company. Especially if that company was Toire.

Without vocally giving a reply, the younger girl took a seat next to him. A moment later, she took his hand in hers, and when he didn’t voice a protest, she scooted closer and leaned against his side, resting her head against his arm. The warmth comforted Teddy, he realized, it gave him something concrete to focus on in the chill as his thoughts wandered. The pair of them sat like that through the night until the skyline began to lighten with the first signs of dawn, when Teddy finally stirred from his reverie to find that Toire had fallen asleep against him.

“Toire, wake up.”

“Mm?” She stirred, her eyes fluttering open as she started to stretch. Teddy smiled as suddenly her blue eyes widened as she realized what had happened. “Oh, Teddy, I’m sorry,” she began gushing, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I didn’t think I’d-“

“Hey, it’s alright,” Teddy replied gently as he pushed himself easily to his feet. When he offered his hands to her to help her up, she took them and he pulled her to a standing position of her own. Without any other preamble, he pulled her in for a tight hug. Her falling asleep meant nothing to him whatsoever – her presence, however, had. “Thank you for being here anyway, Toire,” he mumbled against her shoulder.

When they extricated themselves from the embrace, Victoire gave him a bright smile. “What are friends for?” she chirped back.

Unable to think up a reasonable counterstatement, Teddy just smiled at her and gave her another quick hug. Even if his parents weren’t here to look after him, Teddy knew, he was looked after fairly well anyway. If nothing else, Victoire would make sure of that.

**~ findo narratum ~**

_In time, friendship wasn’t even quite the word to describe it._

“Did you have a good time this year?”

A seventeen-year old Teddy Lupin had been caught up in his thoughts again. His mind was revolving around a certain beautiful blonde and the way her face lit up when she’d opened the present he’d gotten for her with the help of his Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny – a brand new Firebolt Ultra with a mahogany finish and her name emblazoned on the handle. He hardly heard his Gran’s question as he tugged his coat off and hung it up next to hers near the door.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I had a great time, like always. Mrs. Weasley sends her love and I think she’ll be bringing you leftovers either tonight or tomorrow,” he replied offhandedly as he gave his grandmother a typical greeting hug.

“She knows she doesn’t have to do that,” his Gran grumbled, brushing some snow out of his currently blue hair. Then she paused, like she’d noticed something – her gaze was focused on his face. “Are you alright? You almost look ill.”

“Just have a lot on my mind, that’s all,” he replied, shifting restlessly, internally wondering if he honestly looked sick whenever he was thinking about something.

Teddy’s grandmother eyed him contemplatively. “It’s Christmas, Teddy,” she said. “What could you possibly be thinking about?”

“I… nothing.”

His Gran’s suspicious eyes followed him all the way to his room where he quietly shut himself away. Whether or not she knew what was on his mind was irrelevant – because either way she deemed it unnecessary to follow him. Teddy sat on his bed, the bed that had been his since he was practically born here, and leaned up against the wall. It was his favorite thinking position, and he hugged his knees to his chest and rested his chin on one of them. He hadn’t lied to his grandmother. He really did have a lot to think about, no matter what she said about it being Christmas.

The forefront of which was his feelings towards Victoire Weasley.

It hadn’t escaped his notice that being around her these days seemed to bring with it not only the customary ease of being around one’s best friend, but an occasional fluttering of butterflies in his stomach. Even though it was impossible, it felt like Teddy had woken up one day and was worried about what he’d look like in front of her, if she thought he was attractive, what he could do to get her to smile that day. Lately, it almost felt like he wanted _more_ from Victoire, more than the close friendship they already shared. Or, rather, that simply saying that they were just friends didn’t feel right anymore. Teddy felt a pull towards her that he hadn’t felt before, that he didn’t know what to do with. He’d even caught himself looking at her lips tonight and wondering what it might be like to cover them with his own.

What _was_ he supposed to do with all that?

Sighing, he looked around his room like something there might provide him with an answer. The very thought of being more than friends with Victoire Weasley made him nervous – or was it excited? How could he ask her out when he wasn’t even sure if she thought of him any differently? It was an impossible predicament to be sure, but what solution was there to be had? He didn’t want to risk ruining or losing the friendship he cherished most.

Teddy wasn’t sure how long he sat there, it must have been hours as he mulled things over, as the sky grew dark and eventually he had to turn on his light. For a Gryffindor, he thought too much, or at least that’s what some of his classmates liked to tease him about. Maybe he got it from his grandmother, or his father, considering Gran told him that his mum hadn’t been much of a quiet thinker at all. Wherever he got it from, sometimes he cursed it.

Either way, eventually his grandmother knocked on his door, and entered before he even really had the chance to respond.

“Are you alright?” she asked him, looking at him in concern. “I’m heading off to bed, do you need anything?”

Teddy looked up in surprise and slight alarm. He really must have been thinking for quite some time. He shook his head, but as his Gran started pulling out of his doorway, the boy sighed. “Wait, Gran, I want to ask you something,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

“What is it, love?”

Taking a deep breath, Teddy knew he was about to hate himself for what he was going to ask. It was very rare that he ever brought up this kind of topic, both because he knew thinking about it caused his grandmother pain and also because he just rarely ever thought about it. “How did Grandpa Ted ask you out on a date? Were you friends first, and then something just… changed?”

The question had clearly taken his Gran by surprise, but then she almost immediately caught on afterwards. With a deep sigh, she came in and sat next to Teddy on the bed in her nightgown, but she didn’t answer right away. She stared at him for a long, long time, before finally she appeared to have it in her to answer.

“We were friends for a long while before we started dating, in secret, of course,” she replied, her voice quiet enough that Teddy had to lean forward slightly to hear. Only later would he recognize the biting tone in which she said it. “But I imagine our situation and its circumstances were rather different from what yours are. He never quite asked me on a date. I kissed him first. But that’s… beside the point.” Her voice sounded pained, and Teddy immediately regretted asking. “What exactly am I helping you with? Is it Victoire?”

“Well, I- how’d you know?”

Andromeda simply smiled, somewhat sadly, and gently ran a hand through his hair. A lot of teenage boys might have flinched away or shoved the afflicting hand away from their head, but Teddy just sat still as she did it. It wasn’t that he was particularly accepting of shows of affection, but when they came from his grandmother, something in him had always just taken it with grace. “You forget that I know you so well, Teddy,” she was saying. “You think that I haven’t noticed the way you behave around her? It isn’t just this past break, you know. Something has been going on with her for a while.”

“But you’re not at school with us,” Teddy replied, still bewildered.

“No,” his grandmother agreed, “But I get your letters, and I see you in the summers and the winters. Something in you has been changing, Teddy. And I’m quite certain it has something to do with the Weasley girl.”

Teddy bit his lip. “I just… don’t know what to do, Gran.”

“Mm.” His grandmother’s lips pressed into a thin line as she pushed herself up from his bed. “Well, perhaps it’s something you can think about tomorrow, because it’s late, and you really ought to be getting to sleep. Now, good _night_ , Teddy.”

And then she left, shutting the door behind her.

With a sigh, Teddy stretched and decided his grandmother had a point, it _was_ late and while he wasn’t exactly tired, if he thought about this for much longer, his mind was sure to explode. The air in the house was chilly, and his blankets looked warm and comforting. So without much conscious effort, he pulled his shirt over his head and halfheartedly changed into pajama bottoms. He wished that there was someone else he could speak to, someone he could confide in without reminding them of a painful time past, but there was no use in turning to Uncle Harry or any of the other Weasleys. That way something was sure to get back to Victoire, and the thought made his heart feel like it was about to stop.

As he turned out the lights and settled down between the warmth of his comforters, a reckless part of him said that it was just worth it to ask her out and see what she thought. But the scared, rational part of him was screaming at the top of its lungs that his and Toire’s friendship was too precious to risk.

But by the end of that winter break and the time when Teddy was on the train to head back to Hogwarts, the reckless side had won him over.

**~findo narratum ~**

_But maybe romance wasn’t quite it either. Yet._

Walking through the village of Hogsmeade with his hands shoved in his pockets, an eighteen-year old Teddy braced his shoulders against the chill of the winter air and cursed that he hadn't thought to bring a scarf or a hat or even a heavier coat. His Gran was going to kill him if she found out he’d been stupid enough to brave the cold without the proper attire.

But this had been a last minute decision, as he'd thankfully gotten the day off from the job he despised, working for Raymond Spriggs, the owner and manager of Spriggs’s Discount Quidditch Supplies. Upon hearing the delightful news that he wasn’t needed in the shop today, he'd decided he was going to come surprise Victoire on her Hogsmeade visit. That is, if she even wanted him around, he reminded himself bitterly.

Things with their relationship had been rocky and relatively unsteady even from the first date they'd had, and had only gone downhill from there over the year this had been going on. Hell, it had been weird even since he’d asked her out, considering she’d seemed to have thought he was joking when he’d asked to go flying with her on her new broom as more than friends. She’d been smirking about it until he showed up outside Ravenclaw Tower one morning, and that smirk had disappeared when he told her it was time to go.

As he waited near the edge of the village and spotted the first sign of Hogwarts students making their way over, Teddy perked up and shivered in the cold. Eventually, he spotted Victoire, and while a grin sprouted over his face like it always did when he saw her, and his eyes lit up, his expression quickly darkened when he realized that she wasn’t alone. She was walking with another boy. And the boy was clearly interested in her, from the expression on his face and the way he was walking too close to her, yet... Toire wasn't doing anything. His frown quickly turned into a scowl, and his blood started to boil, as he slowly made his way over towards them.

It wasn’t that Teddy was normally a jealous person – he was pretty good-natured about her being around other blokes, having other friends, because of course she would. After all, he didn’t have ownership of her, and while she was his best friend and he hers, of course he’d hoped and expected that she would be friendly with other people.

But not, he noted as he spotted the way this particular boy was staring at her, not friendly with boys like _that_. Plus, over the past year, Victoire had slowly started to cut off all physical contact with Teddy and often pushed him away when he got too close. Yet it looked like she had absolutely no problem with being friendly and cheerful when someone _else_ was around. Teddy bristled.

As he approached them, the pair had stopped outside a store, looking at and admiring a gingerbread house decorated for the holidays. Teddy couldn’t hear what was being said as he got close, but he made his presence known by clearing his throat and, in a forcefully cheery voice, said,

“Hey, Toire. And, er, whoever you might be.” He wasn't nearly so cheerful-sounding as he addressed the boy with Victoire, his voice automatically icy and scarily resembling his grandmother when she was angry with someone or something. But then his gaze and focus turned back to his girlfriend, and he managed a genuine smile down at her. “I got the day off, if you can believe it, I thought we could take some time together, if you wanted. It's been forever since I've seen you last.”

The expression Teddy got in return caught him off guard. Victoire was frowning, and didn’t look at all pleased to see him. “Teddy,” was all she said in greeting, her voice colder than normal.

The boy that had accompanied her looked decidedly uncomfortable. “Toire, did you want me to-“

“Go on inside, Felix, I’ll be there in a minute.” Her dismissive tone sent the lad, apparently named Felix, scurrying into the store, but it wasn’t that which had caught Teddy’s attention. Her words had. What had he stumbled in on? Before he could think on it further, Toire was speaking again, this time addressing him in the same cold manner she had just a moment ago, her eyebrows raising almost in a haughty manner, “So you just show up in Hogsmeade? You saw me two weeks ago, Teddy, and three weeks before that.”

Teddy’s smile disappeared. Confused and on the defensive, he countered, “Well, I- yeah. I thought I’d surprise you. I used to see you every day, you know.” As her expression grew darker and darker, Teddy began to feel desperate. What had he done wrong? Instead of trying to figure out what exactly was wrong, he went on the offensive. After all, _he_ wasn’t the one trying to brush off his girlfriend. “Do you just hate my presence all of a sudden? Do you not want me here so you can continue your little dates with... with that Felix guy behind my back and not worry about it?”

Maybe he’d gone too far, maybe he was taking things to a level they didn’t need to go to, and from the expression that took over Victoire’s face, he guessed he wasn’t far off the mark in thinking that.

“What are you _talking_ about?” she demanded. “Felix is my Quidditch captain, Teddy, and a friend of mine. Jealousy is hardly attractive, you know, you’re being a right git.”

Where was all this coming from? To say that he didn’t understand what was going on with his girlfriend, the girl who was his best friend, would be an understatement. But there was _one_ thing he knew he was right about. “Yeah, a friend who'd give anything to stare at your breasts every time you turn around, or snog you senseless in a broom cupboard if he got the chance,” he snapped.

He went on to say, “A git? Really? I'm just trying to be your bloody boyfriend, Victoire, what's going on with you? We used to be best friends and now I'm lucky if you'll even give me two seconds of your time - you hardly even write me anymore.”

There it was. The main issue the pair of them had been having as a couple from the very start, or at least the way Teddy saw it. _That_ was what he had never quite understood. They’d been best friends before, and yet somehow when they’d started dating she almost completely shut down. She hardly even spoke to him anymore. And now he was getting this?

“God damn it, Teddy, I don’t have time for this!” While he’d been thinking ,Victoire had clearly had enough, as she stomped her foot and glared at him. “Why can’t you just leave me the hell alone? You keep saying give you two seconds, but _you_ won’t let me have two seconds to myself to give!” With that, she turned around and started stalking away.

But confused and determined as ever to get to the bottom of this, Teddy followed her. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea, and maybe he should have let her be, but right then he needed to know. Something else was going on and she wasn’t telling him. “Time for what?” he berated her. “For me? Why the hell are you telling me to leave you alone when I hardly talk to you as it is? What is even going on? Do you not want to date me anymore? Do you want me to stop talking to you, caring about you? What is it that I-“

Without even thinking, he found himself getting shoved by a very, very angry Victoire, who had turned and was glaring at him with might he’d never seen before. Before he could say anything else, she was screaming, “Why can’t you just _shut up_?!”

“I-“

“I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE, LUPIN!”

Teddy froze in his tracks. Of all the little stings and nips he'd felt to his pride and his heart over the past year, the shove was what did it. The shove, and the use of his last name. She had  _never_ called him Lupin, except in teasing, but never when she was angry. In the years to come, he might have winced away from her and backed down, but not on that day, not when the injury was so fresh and raw. Not when he was eighteen, and still learning about himself and maturing into the world.

"Left alone?" he snapped right back at her, his voice raw with emotion of his own. "You want to be left alone?  _Fine_. Be alone. Or better yet, how about you go in and snog Felix like he's been wanting? Because I'm  _done_. I'm done with this, and I'm done with  _you_. Now that I know what you really think of me, it's a wonder you even bothered with me all these years."

He didn't even wait for a reply. He couldn't - he wouldn't be able to handle it if she screamed at him again, and he was too raw right then to even think straight. So Teddy did the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life. He walked away from her.

It wasn’t until years later that Teddy would quite come to understand the circumstances that had led to that very fight, the pressures that Victoire had been feeling that had put her in such a sour mood when he’d shown up in Hogsmeade. Their relationship ended that day, and their friendship became permanently fractured. But still, at the Weasley gatherings to come, relatives and anybody who knew the young couple held out hope that maybe, someday, they’d mend things and bring Teddy back into the family.


	3. I: Auror Lupin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months after his breakup with Victoire, Teddy is given an opportunity that he just can't turn down. But not everyone feels the same way about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to my beloved Niko for being there for the story and lending me her Andromeda and Toire~ Enjoy!

_Six Months Later_

The stacking of heavy boxes was not exactly a mentally-intensive project, but it certainly was a physically demanding one. As Teddy’s back popped for what felt like the twelfth time that day, he grunted as he shoved the last box back into its place on the storage shelf. He’d been lifting boxes since his last break almost three hours ago, having been unaware of the sheer amount of _merchandise_ that had to be packaged and put on the back shelves.

To say that Teddy wasn’t in the best of moods in that particular moment would have been quite the understatement. Between his body being sore from lifting, his general exhaustion, and the fact that his employer was holding his paycheck for another week, this was turning out to be a fairly dreadful day. Sweat had soaked his shirt through and was making it stick to his skin, and the room was stuffy and overheated. His stomach growled in protest of all this hard work without any sustenance to refill it. And the clock overhead dictated that he’d been working an hour overtime already.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Teddy leaned back against the wall and cursed his luck. He was technically supposed to be meeting his godfather in twenty minutes for their fortnightly dinner – not only was he likely to be late _again_ , but now he had no funds with which to pay for his meal.

When he’d first applied for this job, the owner and manager, Spriggs, had assured Teddy that he wouldn’t be a simple paper pusher and grunt worker for long. But that have been over eight months ago, and with every passing week, it was becoming clear that that was all Teddy would ever be in this dustbin of a store. His muscles were too precious to go to waste, Spriggs had told him, when he’d promoted Teddy’s nitwit coworker to a higher position and had left Teddy in the back.

_Easy for him to say,_ Teddy grouched as he stalked over to grab his clock card so he could leave. _The man gains five pounds every other day and couldn’t lift a pincushion even if he tried_.

“Oi, Lupin, coming in early tomorrow, yeah?”

The young man bristled and bit back an angry retort as Spriggs poked his bald head out of his office. Instead, he just answered in a forcefully calm tone, “Yeah. I’ll be in early tomorrow. See you then, sir.”

A quick dismissing nod and an acquiescent grunt was all Teddy got in response before he shoved his way through the back door and out into the streets of Diagon Alley. He needed to get back to his flat and get ready for dinner.

Apparating had never been Teddy’s favorite method of transportation, but it was quick and efficient and honestly the only thing he had time for. With his flat on the opposite end of Diagon Alley, walking took close to a half-hour. On most days, he’d take the time, but not when he actually had something to get ready for, and not when he had less than twenty minutes to do so.

His godfather would have to spot him tonight, and while he knew Uncle Harry would have no problem doing so, the idea grated on Teddy’s nerves. His Gran had long since instilled a passionate dislike for charity of any sort in the young man – it was far better, and far more worth it in the end, to earn your own wages and make your own way. Plus, it was too late to cancel on him now, as he glanced at the clock after finally making his way into his tiny one-bedroom flat, considering he only had _fourteen minutes_ left before he was supposed to show up at the quiet restaurant his godfather favored.

Teddy tore off his sweat-soaked shirt and pulled on a new one, barely having time to brush his hair and glancing at himself in the mirror. He looked a mess, but he highly doubted Uncle Harry would care. As amazing as his abilities were to change his appearance, there was nothing he could do about looking dirty when it was something _on_ his skin rather than in it. Shoving his wand down his back pocket and making sure he had some kind of identification on him, Teddy headed out into the crisp evening air.

Admittedly, Teddy cherished and loved the fortnightly dinners with his godfather, almost as much as his almost constant visits to see his Gran. He hated the idea of having to give even one up because of his blasted job. If he hadn’t needed the money to keep up with his rent and food costs, Teddy would have quit ages ago. His grandmother always told him that there wasn’t any shame in working in a shop, that it was a perfectly respectable profession, and yet… Teddy couldn’t help but feel like it was degrading. Like he could offer the world so much more.

He sighed as he made his way to the outskirts of Diagon Alley, and rubbed his forehead. Turning on the spot, he Apparated once more to a designated Apparition point in downtown London. Harry had always been strict and specific when it came to where and how Teddy ought to arrive – a Ministry official, he was required to take the Statute of Secrecy very seriously, and as a result for meetings like this, Teddy was required to do so as well.

The restaurant they frequented was a small, quiet place that served multicultural dishes and didn’t have all too many visitors. Probably because the owner was a wizard himself, who was rather selective about the customers that came calling. Apparently it was a popular spot for Ministry workers, including Teddy’s godfather, and as he slipped inside, he saw that Harry was already seated at their usual table, glancing over the menu.

“Hey there, uncle,” Teddy greeted him as he approached.

Harry Potter, to many, was the savior of the wizarding world, a brave man who still fought to keep the citizens safe as head of the Auror department, but to Teddy, he was just his godfather. If somebody looked closely enough, gray hairs just barely speckled the man’s head of raven-black hair, but his green eyes always seemed to be twinkling or otherwise have some kind of mischief in them. He looked up at the sound of Teddy’s voice and grinned, and stood to briefly embrace Teddy before sitting back down. They’d always gotten along splendidly, and he was as much a part of Teddy’s life as his grandmother was.

“It’s good to see you, Teddy, how’ve you been?”

“Alright, I suppose,” Teddy answered, shifting uncomfortably as he settled into his own seat. “Listen, Uncle, you don’t think you could cover me, just this once? Paycheck got delayed.”

Harry gave him a knowing smile. “Of course, it’s no problem. How _is_ that job going anyway? I know last time you said-“

“I hate it,” Teddy spat out, cutting his uncle off. “Honestly, I bloody hope Spriggs keels over of a heart attack and doesn’t forget to leave me with all the money he owes from sucking Galleons off my paycheck. Though, with my luck, he would.”

The knowing smile turned into a puzzled look. “So it’s gone south since we talked last, then,” Harry remarked, nonplussed. “I’m guessing it hasn’t exactly turned out like you wanted?”

And so the conversation went on. Even if Harry wasn’t his father, in some ways he was close enough, more so now than he’d been when Teddy was a child. Despite the fact that Teddy knew he could tell his grandmother anything, there were still some things that he felt like she didn’t need to know, or details he’d rather keep quiet about to not upset her, and Harry was always the perfect person to listen. And so Teddy told Harry all the horrid stories of the past two weeks about his job, each and every one constituting as another reason why he wanted so desperately to quit. Eventually, a waiter came by to take their orders.

After which, finally, Harry just said,

“Well, if you hate it so much, why don’t you come out for Auror training, then?”

_That_ caught Teddy completely by surprise, and he stared at his godfather in complete shock. “What? Auror training? Uncle, you’re kidding right? Tell me you’re kidding.”

Even though Harry looked relatively amused, there was a serious air about him that suggested that he wasn’t kidding at all. “We’re looking for new recruits for this year’s training batch, you’d make a great addition to the force. We’d be lucky to have you. Plus, you’re a shoe-in.”

“Would that be because you actually think I’ve got what it takes or because my godfather runs the whole bloody department?” came the sly question.

Harry grinned unashamedly. “Both.”

Teddy had never really thought about becoming an Auror – it was a career path that he had always been told to stay away from, namely by his grandmother. His mother had been one, of that he was perfectly aware, but he’d never really thought about it. It was a dangerous job, one people got hurt or even killed doing. That was why his grandmother wanted him to stay away from it, he knew, because all she wanted was for him to be safe. Rubbing the back of his neck, he opened his mouth to respectfully decline, but Harry held up a hand to stop him.

“Listen, Teddy,” he said. “I know that things haven’t been the easiest for you from the start, and to be perfectly honest the job you’ve got right now sounds like a nightmare. You’re getting minimum pay for a job that, from what it sounds like, you absolutely hate. Working in a store can be a great profession, yeah, look at George Weasley, for an example. But half of what you talk about is how much you hate working with merchandise and the customers. Didn’t you ever wonder if you were meant for something else?”

Well, of _course_ Teddy wondered that, in fact, he was certain he was meant for something more than simply being a shopkeeper. It was boring and half the time, it was mindless, but he’d needed something to pay his rent. But, an Auror? He’d be lying if he said that the idea of the job didn’t have any appeal, especially because, well, his mother had been one. And everyone told him what a brave and incredible woman she was. Teddy wanted to be brave and incredible too, and as of right now he was fairly sure that, even though he’d been a Gryffindor in school, he was mediocre at best. He looked at his godfather anxiously.

“You actually think I could make it? Your position aside, would the Auror Department even think to hire someone like me?”

Harry smiled at him. “Why wouldn’t they? You got fantastic scores on most of your exams” (nobody ever really mentioned Teddy’s abysmal Arithmancy mark on his OWL’s) “and I’ve seen you in action. You’re a natural with Defense, Teddy, skills like that don’t just go away. Plus, I know your abilities have been a little… sporadic for a while, but everyone knows that being a Metamorphagus would be a massive help when it comes to disguises.”

At the mention of his abilities, Teddy reached up and ran a hand through his hair, which was currently its natural color, self-consciously. Ever since the nasty breakup with Victoire, and their subsequent avoidance of one another, Teddy had found that his powers were not at their best. He could change basic things, like his hair and eye color, and skin tone, but could hardly change anything else. And if he could, the form didn’t hold for long. It honestly made him feel like a failure, constantly being reminded that his mother had been fantastic with her own abilities, but the idea that he could actually use them, or at least get the chance to work on them, seemed promising.

“So you actually think I could do it.” Not a question, an observation.

“I don’t think so. I _know_ you could.”

Teddy made a contemplative noise and looked down at his hands, which were folded on the table. Now that he really thought about it, that the option was before him, he realized this very well might be the opportunity he was waiting for. The chance to get out of that ridiculous little store and out from under Spriggs’s thumb and to actually make some money, doing something worthwhile. Because was acting as a protector to the wizarding world, and tracking down evil men and women worthwhile? Teddy believed so with all his heart.

But never had he actually thought it was a possibility for him, until Harry had mentioned it. Teddy had always looked up to his godfather, seen him as an idol, and when his grandmother had dismissed the idea in a letter when Teddy had written her fifth year about career choices, Teddy had laid it to rest and never thought of it again. He’d always just figured that he would find something else.

Yet… Teddy’s mother and father had dedicated their lives to protecting the wizarding world from evil. That’s why they’d fought, and why they’d died. That their son would follow in their footsteps, at least on some level, was a poetic notion, but that wasn’t quite the right word for how Teddy felt about it. Maybe it just felt… right? If he became an Auror, he could, in some way, continue their work. He’d be brave, and incredible, and strong. Maybe, that way… he could make himself proud. And, more importantly, make _them_ proud. He’d have a life worthwhile, and he’d be a worthwhile human being. He could work with Harry, have a job with the Ministry, the most extravagant of employers…

Well, perhaps applying for the training program and the later job was having fewer and fewer downsides with every passing minute.

Eventually, he asked, “You wouldn’t happen to have any applications on you, would you, Uncle?”

By the time their dinner was over and the two men embraced each other while saying goodnight, Teddy had already filled out half of the application and was determined to drop it off the next morning at the Ministry. He’d figured that it wouldn’t do any harm in applying now, and the sooner he got out of that shop and started making a difference, the better. The only thing left was to go tell his grandmother, and as usual, Teddy could hardly wait to tell her.

Andromeda Tonks lived in the house she and her husband had bought just before Teddy’s mother had been born, in a wizarding suburb of London near the outskirts of the great city. Therefore it was no problem Apparating right onto her front lawn, like he did just about every day when he came to see her.

Most people who knew Andromeda and Teddy respectively didn’t understand it. To most, Andromeda Tonks was cold and distant, if she spoke to them at all, whereas Teddy was a cheerful and bright personality – how the pair of them even got along was anyone’s guess. But Teddy enjoyed a special relationship with his Gran, a connection that nobody else quite understood, and he loved her dearly. In fact, there was probably nothing that would ever diminish his love for her, the one person in the world he knew he could always count on no matter the circumstances.

Teddy allowed himself in, he had a key and Andromeda had long since told him that there was no need to knock. Despite the hour, Teddy knew she’d be awake. Sometimes he liked to joke that she was like a 24-hour owl, since she hardly ever slept these days, and was alert at all hours.

“Gran?” he called out, shutting the door behind him.

“In the kitchen, love,” came the unsurprised response.

Teddy bounced cheerfully towards the source of his Gran’s voice to find her precisely where she’d said she was, a potted plant in front of her. From the furrow of concentration between her eyebrows and the clippers in her hand, it was easy to see she was trimming one of the herbs from her personal garden. As soon as she put down the clippers, Teddy walked around behind her and bent down to kiss her on the cheek.

“Do you want that refilled, Gran?” he asked, gesturing towards an empty tea cup to her left.

“No, it’s my last for the night, you can put it by the sink.” Instead, Teddy took it and started washing it out – he didn’t see the affectionate smile that graced his Gran’s face because of it. “What brings you here at this hour? You’re usually back to your flat by now.”

“I wanted to talk to you about something, actually. I just got out from my dinner with Harry.”

Because his back was to her, he also didn’t see how her lips tightened. “Well, go on,” she said, “What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

Teddy, remembering how she’d responded the first time he’d ever mentioned it, swallowed as he turned back around and leaned on the counter. “I’m thinking about becoming an Auror,” he tried to say offhandedly, like he was talking about what he was making for dinner tomorrow rather than a major career change.

“Absolutely not.” Her answer was swift and sharp, and her voice felt as though it had dropped fifty degrees.

Though he’d been expecting a refusal of some kind, he hadn’t expected such a degree of vehemence from his grandmother, who hardly ever refused him when he wanted something. Normally, he’d simply accept her ‘no’ and move on to the next topic, but on this, he wasn’t so willing to budge. “But why not, Gran? You know I hate it in the shop.”

“Working there is a perfectly respectable career, Teddy, I don’t see why you feel the need to throw that away,” was the icy response. “You just have to give it some time. Do you mean to tell me that the next logical step from a shop-hand is to become an Auror? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not doing anything worthwhile in the shop!” he protested. “And Uncle Harry told me I’d be a shoe-in, they’re-“

“Oh, do I have a few choice words for your godfather if he ever shows up here again,” Andromeda snapped. “What on earth are you talking about, ‘doing anything worthwhile’? Supporting yourself and keeping yourself safe _is_ worthwhile.”

Stubbornness pushed Teddy onward. “Your daughter, my mum, was an Auror.”

“Oh, yes, well, look where that landed her!” His grandmother’s eyes were blazing, and she stood from her seat. Even though she was in her sixties, something about her harsh glare rendered Teddy completely inert. “Dead before her son even spoke his first word!” Teddy openly flinched, but she wasn’t finished just yet. “Your mother and father died foolishly that night, Teddy, because they thought they had to go off and fight evil! Don’t you dare put yourself on their path.”

“But they were doing what was right! You told me that, everyone’s told me that. Why can’t I do what’s right too?”

“Because doing what’s right gets you killed, that’s why! Your mother and father would never have wanted you to just uselessly throw your life away when they fought so hard for you to live, no matter their profession, or what side they took in a stupid war. They would not have wanted this for you.” Her words were harsh, and took their desired effect.

It was no secret, at least to Andromeda, how deeply Teddy’s orphan status had affected him throughout his life. Having never known his parents, he was forced to hear about them from others. Others who, because of their sacrifice at the Battle of Hogwarts, praised their bravery and told Teddy what great people they were. Others who would tell them that he would make them proud someday, or that he already had. Others who would tell him he was just like his mother, or just like his father, always contradicting themselves and confusing him as to whom he was really like. And Teddy, lost amongst the compliments and the tales, had developed one single burning desire:

He wanted to make them proud, to do right by the parents he never knew.

And her last statement made him visibly deflate – and for the first time since Uncle Harry had mentioned it, he doubted his resolve to follow through on what essentially had been a job offer.

“Do you really mean it?” he asked quietly, blue eyes full of a childhood’s worth of grief and pain. “Would they… would they really hate the idea of it? I just… I just want to do something worth it. That would make _me_ worth it, worth the sacrifice and everything they did, and I don’t feel like I am just lifting bloody boxes in a shop, working for a fat arse who won’t lift a finger for me, even to give me my paycheck.”

“Language,” Andromeda reminded him gently, though at his deflation and his broken tone, it was clear to see she’d softened. She sighed. “Teddy, love, look at me, please.” He’d taken to staring glumly at the kitchen floor. When he didn’t look up, Andromeda reached and hooked a finger under his chin and forced his head up so his eyes met hers. “Teddy, I… to be honest, I think your mother would have been thrilled you’re considering following in her footsteps, and I’m sure your father would be proud too. But they would be proud of the young man you’ve become either way, and they would love you no matter if you were an Auror or wiping dust off old boxes in a Quidditch store.”

When Teddy didn’t speak up, she continued, with another aggrieved sigh. “You and I both know that no matter what I say, you’re going to do what you want, and I wouldn’t stop you. But I just want you to think very carefully about what you’re doing, and know that I’m not going to support you in becoming an Auror. I can’t. I’m not going to risk losing you too.”

“But Gran-“

“No.” Some of the steel returned. “You may be an adult now and capable of making your own decisions, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit by and cheer you on when you make stupid ones, like this. Teddy, I have already lost too much. I’m not going to lose my grandson to the darkness in this world as well. And if you let yourself get hurt, I will never forgive you.”

At this, Teddy took his grandmother’s hands in his, looking down at her steadily. “I know you’ve lost a lot, Gran, but I promise you’re not going to lose me. I swear that to you, at least. I’ll be alright, and I can defend myself, you know that.”

“Your mother promised me the same thing the night she died. I begged her to stay home, for you, but instead all I received was a promise she would be fine,” Andromeda commented coolly, but the pain in her eyes betrayed her. Whether that pain was just for her daughter or for everything else, Teddy couldn’t quite tell.

Either way, he engulfed his grandmother in a hug, holding her close and heavily resisting the urge to cry. Talking about his mother like this, and knowing that going forward would earn his grandmother’s disapproval, was bringing on a sadness in him that he didn’t want to acknowledge. She hugged him right back, and for a moment they were silent, simply taking in the other’s presence and seeking comfort that neither of them were finding. He wanted her approval and support, so desperately, but she wouldn’t give it unless he stepped down from this notion, which Teddy wasn’t prepared to do.

“I love you, Gran,” he murmured as he pulled back. “And I’ll think about it, but... something about this just feels right. No matter what happens, I promise I’ll stay safe.”

And so that was why, even though he still finished the paper work that night when he returned to his flat, it took him three days to bring the application in as opposed to the one he’d proposed it would take. During those three days, he’d taken his grandmother’s words to heart and had honestly weighed the options. But in the end, his godfather’s words had won out, as had his deep-seated desire to prove his parents proud.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d stop by and apply or not,” Harry confessed when Teddy showed up at his office to turn in the application face-to-face. “Your grandmother’s a forced to be reckoned with, you know that?”

“She spoke to you?” Teddy wasn’t sure if he ought to be amused or alarmed.

From the haunted expression that overtook Harry’s face, he decided to go with alarmed. “Oh, yeah. First rule of Auror training, Teddy, never reveal your sources. Ginny almost hexed her. I figured if you’d gotten anything like the tongue-lashing she gave me, you might reconsider. And with good reason.” He shuddered, but held his hand out for the paperwork anyway. “You’re sure you want to do this? I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured into going into this, Teddy, and I want this to be your choice. You can still turn back and nobody will think any less of you whatsoever.”

Teddy had done enough thinking. He placed the application in Harry’s hand with cold determination dominating his features. “I want to become an Auror,” he said with a ferocity and assurance that he hadn’t felt in a very, very long time.


	4. II: Awkward Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Niko, as always, who actually had a correction for me this chapter, so! I apologize for the relative shortness of this installment, but hopefully it gets across what it needs to. Hope you all enjoy~

“Did you get Fleur’s invitation?”

Teddy’s lips pressed into a thin line, like they always did when a certain branch of the Weasley family was mentioned, as he lifted up a wine glass and sipped the liquor within. It seared going down his throat, but the warmth of it settling in his stomach did him good. Tonight was supposed to be a generally happy affair. Talking about _her_ for any length of time was just going to send him spiraling into a stupor that he likely wouldn’t be out of for at least the rest of the night.

And he wanted to enjoy his Auror initiation party for as long as possible.

“Invitation to what?” he asked bitterly, trying to act like he didn’t know what his godfather was talking about. In most cases when it came to a certain someone, he found it best to simply play the fool and avoid thinking about her if he could. It hurt less that way.

“She’d mentioned something about sending you one. Victoire’s graduation party is next week, are you going?”

“Oh. That.” Teddy gritted his teeth and tried to look at anything but his godfather’s scrutinizing expression. He had indeed gotten the aforementioned invitation, as well as two personal letters folded into the small card – one from Fleur Weasley and the other from, of all people, Victoire’s younger sister Dominique (Teddy wasn’t entirely why her, either). He had ignored every bit of them. “No, I’m not going.”

Harry sighed. That was never a good sign for where the conversation was going. “Teddy-“

“Oi, Uncle Ron, what did you think of the Cannons match last night?” Teddy pointedly cut his godfather off and ventured to the other side of the room. If there was one way to immerse oneself into an attention-taxing conversation or argument, it was to get Ron Weasley talking about whatever latest catastrophe had befallen his favorite team on the Quidditch pitch.

It wasn’t that Teddy didn’t want to talk to Harry. He just didn’t want to talk to Harry about _Victoire_ , whom Teddy had barely spoken to since they’d broken up almost a year-and-a-half ago. The last time he’d seen her was the annual Easter get-together at the Weasley household, and even that small glimpse had been more than enough for him. Seeing her crystalline blue eyes, that smile… hearing her laugh with one of her family members… and then the nonchalant way in which she had addressed him, as if they were mere decent friends all their lives, that had stung more than Teddy was ever going to admit. Or, rather, at least not out loud to his uncle or anyone else in his extended family.

The little get-together was being held at Grimmauld Place, Harry’s residence, as Teddy’s flat was too small for such a party and the other venue Teddy might have considered was not one he even pursued. Because while Harry’s family, as well as a number of the Weasleys, and all their children (the Hogwarts Express had brought back all the students for the summer just days before) had showed up to celebrate, there was one person who was noticeably absent.

Andromeda Tonks never really accepted or supported Teddy’s decision to become an Auror. On some level, he was sure she understood, and she’d let him make his own decision, but she’d been true to her word that she wasn’t going to support him. To her, it was an occupation where he was pointlessly putting his life in danger, for a cause she didn’t find worth it anymore. And because Teddy understood her stance, his training and now his new job were topics they always avoided in conversation. Plus, she hadn’t been to the ceremony, and she’d refused to come to the party. Though he was saddened and even a little hurt by her nonverbal statement, Teddy felt like he’d made the right decision.

But, as an eleven-year old Lily Potter came crashing into him to give him a hug and wish him congratulations and good luck, Teddy knew that he had enough family happy for him that it wasn’t as big of a blow as it could have been.

The party lasted for a few hours yet, and there was hardly an end to the people, mostly family, who came to greet and congratulate him on his recent feat. He would be a junior Auror now, probably with minimal responsibilities, but it was a landmark occasion in any case. Teddy was starting a new life, and he already looked ten times happier for it.

As the festivities started to wind down, and people began filtering out, only a number of people and their children remained. Teddy was standing amongst his godfather, Aunt Ginny, Uncle Ron, and Aunt Hermione, the five of them talking about the Ministry goings-on that Teddy was now proudly a part of. The children were off elsewhere, likely getting into mischief, but nobody was overly concerned.

“Have any of the Auror applicants filed in for the training program yet, Harry?” Hermione questioned, sipping on her tea. “You’re expecting a big pool this year, aren’t you?”

“Er, yeah, we are. We’ve got some slotted already.” When Teddy looked at him with lively interest, his godfather looked away and cleared his throat.

“You didn’t tell me how many new Aurors are coming in,” he said in curiosity.

Ron snorted and thumped Teddy on the back. “Just initiated into the Department and already thinks he’s got a right to call anyone else new,” he remarked, and Teddy’s face went slightly red. “But yeah, shockingly enough, now that Harry’s head of the Department every Hogwarts graduate thinks they’ve got what it takes to be out in the field.” It was clear that he was being cynical, yet something about his comment made Teddy go even redder. “We do have a few shoe-ins, though, I bet. Before we know it, the Weasley family’ll be taking over the Ministry.”

_That_ made Teddy look up in slight alarm. There was only one Weasley who’d just graduated. “Wait, what?”

Evidently his uncle hadn’t heard him. “Little Victoire submitted her application the day she finished her N.E.W.T’s, didn’t she?”

It didn’t take long for those words to register at all. Every one of Teddy’s muscles locked, and any trace of flush from his face drained in less than a few seconds as his skin turned ghostly pale. His jaw tightened and his fists clenched, while his heart pounded against his ribcage. His uncle Ron had to be mistaken. Right? There was no way…

“Yeah. She did.” Harry’s tight, constrained voice made Teddy realize that he might have been trying to tell Teddy about this earlier, when Teddy had left him to go talk to Ron. And that this news was something he’d known for a while, that he knew exactly what effect it would have on Teddy, though the rest of his relatives continued prattling on.

“She’ll make a great Auror,” Ron declared. “Fiercest girl I know. She’ll have all the criminals running and hiding into their holes the second she gets out there.”

“She has to make it through training first, and not everybody makes it through. Harry’s training regiment’s rather rigorous,” Hermione reminded everyone.

Teddy got thumped on the back again by Ron. “Toire’ll make it. If Teddy did, she can too. No offense there, Teddy.”

“Teddy?”

“Teddy, are you alright?”

But Teddy wasn’t listening, and his mind was somewhere far, far away. He’d only just truly started getting over the wound of not having Victoire in his life. After the pair of them had broken up in that nasty fight, virtually all contact between the two had been lost, save for family gatherings where they were forced to be in the same space. When she always acted like he was just another family member, and never went out of her way to talk to him, Teddy had realized that she had cut him out of her life too. But now he was going to be forced to see her every day, or even worse, _work_ with her? Pretend like nothing had ever happened? What were the fates trying to put him through?

Realizing that everyone had stopped to stare at him, he swallowed and managed to choke out, “I just, er, I need some air.”

In his hasty retreat, he didn’t hear his aunt Ginny smack Ron on the arm and hiss, “You tactless arse, what the bloody hell did you bring her up at _Teddy’s_ Auror party for?”

The air outside of Grimmauld Place wasn’t particularly fresh, or cool, in the London summer, but at least it was an air free of the name Victoire. Sinking down onto the steps, Teddy rubbed his hands across his scalp, through his hair that was spiking darker colors in distress, and he struggled not to think about all this too thoroughly.

A few minutes later, he heard the door open and didn’t even have to look to know it was his godfather. Harry shut the door behind him and sat down on the steps beside Teddy. Moments passed in silence.

“I was trying to tell you earlier, when I started-“

“I know.”

“Will you be alright?”

Teddy shrugged. How was he supposed to explain the fact that, despite their breakup, despite their purposeful avoiding one another, his heart still thudded against his ribs at the sound of her name, or that he constantly wished for the sound of her laughter in his ear, or that he missed the way her eyebrows furrowed whenever she was concentrating on something? It hurt just to see her on the rare occasion, knowing that she had never really loved him, that she hated him. Her seemingly false smiles and casual but polite greetings stung him to the core. What was he supposed to do if he was _working_ alongside her?

“Have to be, don’t I?” he replied when he realized that Harry was actually waiting for a verbal response. “You can’t throw out her application just because I’ll…”

“You’re right about that, at least, but Teddy-“

“Look, Uncle, I would rather just… not, alright? It’s over and done, and nothing you say is really going to make it any easier,” Teddy said. He appreciated Harry’s efforts, he really did, but he knew they were wasted. Nothing was really going to change how he felt about Victoire Weasley.

Another moment passed, before Harry sighed and patted his shoulder before standing up. “Go on home, I’ll tell them you’re bushed. I expect to see you in the office bright and early Monday morning.”

_That_ , at least, made Teddy smile. He might soon be sharing a workplace with his ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend, but that couldn’t take away from the fact that he was an Auror now. One of the best of the best in the wizarding world. He got to his feet as well and the pair embraced briefly. “Thanks, Uncle,” he said. “I’ll see you Monday.”

Harry smiled back and headed inside. Teddy, on the other hand, strode a few more steps away from Grimmauld Place before Disapparating. He had some things to think about.

**~ findo narratum ~**

Hiding in his cubicle all day long wasn’t really getting anything done, and quite frankly after a while Teddy started to feel like a real coward. The gray walls surrounding him and his small desk were starting to mock him, the papers on his desk starting to make him stir crazy. Or maybe it was just the grumbling in his stomach that was telling him that he’d delayed a break in the work for long enough. Eventually, he saw no other choice but to leave his office for a little bit.

The Auror break room was empty – everyone else was either out on assignment or busy watching the new recruits in training. Though he’d been invited to go see them with some of the others, Teddy had declined for obvious reasons. It killed him enough to know that Toire was in the same building, and he was positive he wouldn’t be able to bear watching her, knowing she likely wouldn’t even spare him a sideward glance. But he could imagine what they were going through. After all, it hadn’t been so long ago that he himself was getting put through training.

Ministry coffee wasn’t the best in the world, but it was enough to keep him satiated. He poured himself a mug, smirking when he recognized the cup from his Aunt Ginny’s personal collection – the Auror Department was always Harry’s depository for gifts that he didn’t want.

The pile of papers still on his desk probably wasn’t going to go away any time soon, so he knew that he couldn’t take too long. As a rookie Auror, he was stuck with a lot of the grunt paperwork, but at least it was a step up from hauling boxes everywhere. At least for the paperwork, he had to use his brain. Teddy sighed. A little bit of coffee and then he’d be back to work, he promised himself.

Though, it seemed that fate had entirely different plans for him.

He plopped down into a chair and spun it to look up at the false windows sipping his hot cup of caffeine. Someone had decided it needed to be sunny and bright today, even though he knew for a fact the weather was fairly dreary out. He was caught up by his own thoughts when he heard someone come in. Teddy spun back around to greet whoever it was, but his voice died in his throat. And his heart might have stopped in his chest, but his primary focus automatically zeroed in on the person in front of him.

“Oh. Hello, Teddy.”

Teddy’s throat closed as he scrambled to his feet, putting the mug of coffee down on the counter before he could spill it all over himself. “Victoire. What, er- what are you doing here?”

Seeing her in front of him, the pale blonde hair and the piercing blue eyes, with her fair skin, it felt like the room had suddenly been closed off. And the distant, almost careful, expression on her face hurt far more than he was willing to admit out loud. She looked like she was facing a ticking time bomb, like he was an animal that had been backed into a corner about to lash out at her. His heart thudded against his ribs.

“I work here, now,” she answered. It sounded like she was calculating every word she spoke. When Teddy didn’t respond, she added, “Most of the trainees are eating together. I wanted to come take a look around.”

“You didn’t tell me you were going to join the Auror force,” Teddy blurted out. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be angry or saddened by this notion.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I would have thought Uncle Harry or Ron might have told you. And you didn’t either, when you joined,” she reminded him coolly.

“That was different.”

In another time, he knew she would have argued with him. Half of him even wanted her to. It might mean she’d care enough to disagree with him. But instead, her lips seemed to tighten as she went on to ask, “Do you want me to leave? I just needed to find a place to eat my lunch.”

“No. I’ll go.” Teddy was already getting up.

The walls felt like they were closing in on him, either that or they were laughing at him too. He was being a coward, and he knew it, running away to avoid this confrontation when he should have been facing it. But Teddy felt hollow, like his ribcage was completely empty. Being around Victoire ever since their breakup always had that effect on him. He rubbed his forehead with a small sigh as he turned away from her to grab his coffee mug. He might have been fleeing the break room, but he certainly wasn’t going to leave his coffee behind.

Teddy turned around to leave but paused when he saw what she was pulling out of the little bag she’d been carrying with her. It looked like a sandwich, but it was just so… small. Before he could stop himself, he said, “That’s all you’re eating?”

Clearly she hadn’t expected him to speak again, and she looked up in surprise. “I- no. I snuck a bag of crisps when Maman wasn’t looking.”

“But you’re training.”

“I’m aware of that, Teddy. Didn’t we already establish this?”

Teddy furrowed his eyebrows and gestured to the pseudo-sandwich she’d pulled out. “You can’t eat just that and a bag of crisps, you’ll kill yourself out there. The afternoons are always harder.”

“Maman told me if I walked out of the house with any more carbs, I’d have a heart attack.” The bitter tone that Victoire used was the same one she always had in store for talking about her mother. It was no secret to Teddy, or at least it hadn’t been when they were kids, how much she and Fleur clashed. Some things never really changed, he supposed. “So I took what I could get. It’s not exactly like I can do anything about this.”

For a moment, Teddy was quiet, contemplating his options. He had never been one to simply sit back while someone suffered, even if that person was Victoire. Finally, he just said,

“Follow me.”

He didn’t wait to see if she was going to do as he said, taking his coffee mug and started trekking back towards the little cubicle in which he worked. A part of Teddy was screaming that he’d regret this later, but most of him was simply… well, it felt right, taking care of Victoire. Even if she no longer cared for him, he honestly just couldn’t let her suffer. Maybe he was a soft-hearted fool for it, but Teddy knew that deep down, he would always care about her. Even if it killed him in the end. But the scurrying footsteps behind him informed Teddy that Victoire had indeed chosen to follow him, and Teddy took her back to where his desk was situated.

“Hold on,” Teddy told her, gesturing for her to wait at the opening. He set his mug down on the desk and opened up one of his drawers. When he wasn’t looking, Victoire ignored him and stepped inside.

“This is yours?” she asked.

Realizing that she was closer from the sound of her voice and that she’d stepped in, Teddy tensed. “Yeah,” he answered. “Most rookies get broom closets, practically, but Harry pulled a few strings.” Teddy found what he was looking for (he wasn’t entirely sure how it had somehow gotten buried). “Here. Take and eat this instead.” He tossed her a wrapped half-sub that he’d made for his own lunch that morning.

Of the many skills Andromeda had made a point to drill into her grandson’s head, one of the most important was the talent for cooking. She’d known Teddy would end up living on his own for a while, a bachelor, and had refused to acknowledge the possibility of getting takeout or leftovers on a constant basis. So she’d taught him how to fend for himself in the kitchen, and he had a fairly decent knack for it. Which was why, as he produced the sandwich and gave it to her, Teddy saw her eyes widen slightly. And maybe he was imagining it, but she looked happy to accept it.

“But isn’t this your lunch?”

“Doesn’t matter. There’s a café in the Atrium I can get something from. You need it more than I do.”

She moved to hand the sandwich back to him. “Teddy, I can’t-“

“Take it. It’s fine.”

For a moment, the pair of them stood there, like at an impasse. The sandwich hung between them, Teddy refusing to take it back, and he shut the drawer it had come from as if that solidified the deal. Victoire watched him, a curious expression on her pale face, until finally, the sandwich lowered.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

Teddy nodded. “Yeah. Go on, you need to eat before the afternoon session starts.”

The smile she gave him felt genuine. “Thank you,” she said quietly, before disappearing out of the office.

It almost felt like they’d had a semi-normal conversation, that they might still be friends. Teddy sat down at his desk and rubbed his forehead, trying to ignore the fact that Victoire Weasley had just been in his tiny little office. _Yeah_ , he thought bitterly, as he stared at the opening through which she’d just vanished. _Almost._


	5. III: Dark Means

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long to get up! School's been a little difficult lately, and work has been a little slow with the fic. Hopefully you'll enjoy! We're getting into the actual darker action plot now. Special thanks to Niko, as always, who helped me with a scene in this chapter~

In the winter of early 2007, rumors started to circulate around the wizarding world of a neo-Death Eater movement centered in London, as seemingly random outbreaks of violence that had been plaguing the wizarding public started to develop a pattern. Muggleborns were disappearing again, and half-bloods with traceable Muggle or muggleborn lineage would be found dead or mutilated. Led by former Death Eaters that had evaded capture after the Second Wizarding War, the new group started to gain momentum and power, and for several months, the wizarding world was terrified that they might be on the verge of another war.

Harry Potter had been 26 at the time, a fiery and reputable Auror that headed the Ministry efforts to quell the escalating situation. From February to June, he and the entire Magical Law Enforcement Department were hot on the heels of the renewed dark movement. No battles ever took place, and not nearly as many victims were killed, but people had grown paranoid, and the damage was done nevertheless.

Teddy remembered this time with distinct clarity. He’d been nine at the time, still under the total care of his grandmother. He could remember Andromeda refusing to let him outside, keeping him indoors and leaving the house herself as little as possible. Visits with Harry and his family had been limited, as had been visits with Victoire, if he got out of the house at all. And though it hadn’t been easy and Teddy frequently grew bored being trapped inside, he hadn’t argued with his Gran – he sensed just how on edge she was, being that he shared a profound bond with her even then. Nightmares had been a frequent and even common event, and despite his age, Teddy spent many nights either curled up near his grandmother or falling asleep just outside her room.

The movement, which ambitiously had called itself a rebellion, had been led by Thorfinn Rowle – a former Death Eater the Ministry had never caught after the Battle of Hogwarts. Since the end of the Second Wizarding War, he had evidently gathered a new group of followers, though nobody could really say for certain. A number of these new so-called Traditionalists (as if a new name made them any less dangerous) were foreigners, gatherers Rowle had picked up through his travels through France, Germany, the Slovak regions, and Bulgaria. Nobody was entirely sure who anybody was, until the Ministry managed to break down the faction by imprisoning most of its members.

Among them was Nicholai Daskalov, who’d been a prominent figure of the Bulgarian Ministry before he’d been caught, tried, and found guilty of being a part of the Traditionalists. The Bulgarian Ministry denounced him and surrendered him to the British Ministry, cutting off all ties with the radical to prevent political tensions. Many other figures from around Britain and the world were also locked up behind bars, including Joseph O’Keenan, an Irish wizarding merchant who’d owned a shop in Knockturn Alley, Patrick Bellerose, a French wizarding ambassador to foreign Ministries, and Gregory Kovachev, a close friend and ally of Daskalov’s.

Each of these men, and others, were put away by the Ministry for life, and it was assumed that they would never walk free again. Azkaban, newly staffed by wizards after the dementors had been banished to the Arctic regions after the Second Wizarding War, became many of the would-be rebels’ supposedly permanent home.

Shortly after imprisonment, news reached the public that Thorfinn Rowle had mysteriously died in Azkaban, and just like that, the wizarding world let out a collective sigh of relief. To them, it signaled the end of a horrific era in their history, and finally they could all move forward. Nobody cared much for the followers of Rowle, figuring that without their leader, they would simply rot away in prison. They felt safe and secure for the first time since the 1970s. Things were stable, and things got better.

Until on March 18th, 2021, when the four previously mentioned men broke out of Azkaban Prison, killing sixteen guards, stealing their wands, and breaking out over a dozen of their fellow prisoners in the process.

**~ findo narratum ~**

Twenty-two year old Theodore Lupin was downright furious.

“What the bloody hell do you even mean, ‘ _broke out_ ’?” he demanded of his godfather, pacing like a caged tiger in Harry’s rather large, rather ornate Head’s office. “It’s blooming Azkaban Prison! How do twenty-three inmates, including five bloody former Death Eaters, stripped of their wands, _break out of Azkaban Prison_?”

The man that sat behind the Head Auror’s desk looked as if he’d aged five years in just five minutes. “Teddy, I need you to calm down,” Harry told him warningly. “I’ve got Kingsley and the Daily Prophet already breathing down my neck at this point, I don’t need you on it too. Do you honestly think I have all the details yet? Hardly anything’s getting through with the sheer insanity this mess is turning out to be.”

“Then why even tell me? Why the bloody hell would you pull me in here just to tell me this in person when I’d get the memo eventually?” Teddy demanded of him. “It doesn’t even-“

“Because I wanted to warn you,” Harry snapped right back, cutting him off. But just like that, Harry’s anger and impatience was gone as he melted back into his chair with a deep, tired sigh. It just occurred to Teddy how much his godfather might have truly loathed the idea of the Death Eaters having escaped, what this could mean for him and anyone else who survived through the wizarding wars. A part of him felt guilty, but the rest of him was still caught up in a rage. “I wanted you to be prepared, because the second you get the list of names that got out, you’re probably going to be in worse shape than you are right now. And we need to talk about that.”

_That_ caught Teddy off guard. Immediately his expression grew wary. “Why?”

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair, his face drawn. “The actual Death Eaters that escaped… one of the few reports that have gotten though gave me the names. And one of them… one of them was Antonin Dolohov.”

Teddy’s entire world froze as recognition flashed across his face. Then it went carefully blank. “The man that people say killed my father, you mean,” he said, his lips pressing into a thin line.

“Now, Teddy, listen, I know that you were raised-“

“Raised to what? Know that each and every damn Death Eater that ever lived contributed to my parents’ deaths? That they helped catch and kill my grandfather, leaving my Gran all alone? That they… that they pretty much ruined your life from the very start too? Uncle, I bloody know what I was raised to think, get to the point.”

For a moment, Harry didn’t respond. “The fact of the matter is, Teddy, no matter how much you might want to get involved with this, you’re still only a rookie. You’ve never had to deal with a situation like this before, and I don’t want you being connected to these investigations or the hunts. Understood?”

Teddy bristled. It was one thing to know that Death Eaters were out among the population again, even if their intentions after getting out of prison weren’t malevolent (that they knew of, anyway). It was another thing entirely to realize that his godfather was essentially barring him from the chase, when instinctively all Teddy wanted to do was go out and catch them himself before they could do any more damage to people like his grandmother. People like him. The blankness vanished from his face as he glared at Harry. “Why the bloody hell not? I can take care of myself, and I can take them. Rookie Aurors go out on assignment all the time.”

“Not on assignments like this.”

“How is this any different? Hunting down and arresting criminals, isn’t that what we do anyway?” Teddy demanded. His fists clenched.

Harry shook his head. He didn’t look at all phased by Teddy’s reaction, probably because he’d been expecting it. “Not when the aforementioned criminals are dangerous enough that they escaped from Azkaban Prison at 4:37 this morning and took almost half the guards down. Not when these are men and women who know _exactly_ how to evade capture and wreak havoc. And not when you’re emotionally invested in the outcome.”

“Oh, and _you’re_ not emotionally invested, Uncle?” Teddy snapped. “You don’t have any emotional connection with the case?”

“I’m Head of the Department. I don’t exactly have a choice _but_ to be involved, Teddy,” Harry responded with a grimace. “But that doesn’t mean that I can’t help protect Aurors I don’t want involved. Namely you, for one. Andromeda would have my head if I let you get involved with this.”

Teddy rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t use my Gran as an excuse. You mean to tell me that you’re not letting me get involved with this because you’re blooming scared of my grandmother?”

“That’s only one of the reasons, Teddy, and you know it,” Harry scolded him, though he didn’t deny being terrified of Andromeda. Then, with a sigh, he gestured to the door. “Now, go on and take the rest of the day off, take some time to cool down.” Though Teddy opened his mouth to argue, Harry held up a hand to silence him before he’d even spoken. “You and I both know you’re not going to be getting any work done in the state you’re in, and quite frankly I don’t want you here when the shit storm descends on the department. Go home, or go see Andromeda, but I want you nowhere near this Ministry until tomorrow morning. Understand?”

Teddy was tempted to refuse, just to spite his godfather who seemed intent on spiting _him_ just then with all this news. For a moment, he just glared, feeling like a teenager who’d just gotten sent to his room (which, with Andromeda, had indeed happened on more than one occasion). Until, finally, his shoulders deflated, and Teddy realized he likely wasn’t going to get anywhere with Harry right then.

“Fine,” he finally said, the anger still evident in his voice. “But I’m not bloody happy about this, and I deserve to be out there hunting them same as anybody else.” Without waiting for a response from Harry, he left the office, stalking down to grab his things from the cubicle before getting ready to leave.

As he was exiting his cubicle again with his jacket on, he nearly crashed into, of all people, Victoire. From the look in her blue eyes, she knew, though he wasn’t entirely sure how. She looked as if she herself was just on her way to Harry’s office down the hall, the way she was headed. She blinked as the two of them assessed what had just happened, until she finally opened her mouth to say,

“Teddy, I-“

Teddy wouldn’t let her finish. He shrugged around her angrily. “Leave it, Victoire,” he snapped. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And he walked away. He didn’t know that, as he went, Victoire watched him go like she was internally debating something, before turning around and going her own way towards Harry’s office.

Anybody could easily discern the pattern that Teddy then followed. He angrily Flooed from the Ministry’s Atrium to a designated fireplace in Diagon Alley, and stalked off to his flat where he could change from his Ministry robes and into something a lot more casual.

There was a calculation behind his actions, a reason he always stopped at his flat first. His grandmother was never as forthcoming or as pleased to see him when he came by with his Auror uniform on. Sometimes she wouldn’t even let him into the house unless he agreed to change. And Teddy knew he wanted to go see his grandmother. No, _had_ to go see her. Not only because it was his routine whenever something tremendous in his life happened, but also because he knew what this news might do to her. Especially after what it had done to him.

As usual, when he finally reached her front door, he let himself in, and she was in her greenhouse that had once been a sunroom, tending her plants when he came in. Though he opened his mouth to break the news, his resolve unwavering, she silenced him before he’d even spoken with a single look.

If she was surprised by his visit so early in the day, she didn’t show it. She was busy repotting a frail looking plant, and as she did so, Teddy anxiously bounced from foot to foot. Without a word, she gestured for him to follow her, and took him to the kitchen. But he didn’t dare address her until she was ready, at which point, he blurted out,

“Something’s happened.”

Andromeda raised an eyebrow, but stilled by the counter as she seemed to notice his nervous and frantic disposition. The eyebrow lowered. “What?” she asked, a little impatiently. She didn’t subscribe to the Daily Prophet any longer – any news she received from the outside world came through Teddy. “What’s happened?”

Without further preamble, he told her, “There’s been a breakout from Azkaban.” Once it was out in the open, Teddy took a deep breath to steady himself – he wanted to tread onward from that point with care. “And several of them were… former Death Eaters. One of them is the one who killed my dad.” His lips pressed into a thin line then, the very reminder sending his blood aflame. Anyone who knew him would easily be able to see that he was planning on seeking retribution.

His grandmother’s face paled, and she stiffened. It wasn’t easy to take Andromeda Tonks by surprise. “What are you talking about, Teddy?” she asked of him, frowning. Moving towards him, she stumbled.

“Do you want me to get you something?” Teddy immediately asked as he moved forward to help her, though she’d already beaten him by sitting heavily in a chair. “I can-“

“Tell me everything,” she commanded, cutting him off.

He swallowed, and did just that. He told his grandmother everything he knew. "Nobody... nobody knows for sure how they got out, reports have only just started coming in. They... they killed almost half the guards and stole wands off of them and... we're not sure where they are, or what they're going to do. A few were actual former Death Eaters, most were from that... that Traditionalist movement when I was a kid. But one of the Death Eaters, one of the men who got out... he's the one everyone says killed my father." He growled to himself as his hands clenched into fists. "Not that  _any_  of this bloody matters because  _Harry_  isn't going to let me work the stupid case."

“As well he shouldn’t,” Andromeda responded almost immediately, but she looked worn. For the first time in a while, she looked her age. “That’s perhaps the first smart thing Harry Potter has ever done in his life.” Though Teddy opened his mouth to reply, after a deep breath, she cut him off again. “I won’t allow you to go and get yourself killed, Teddy. That would have been the last thing your father would have wanted, for you to die avenging him when it won’t bring him back.” The look she gave him then suggested that she knew exactly what he wanted to do.

Teddy, despite his anger and pent up enraged energy, could never lash out at his grandmother, not on good conscience. He did pause in his movement upon seeing the expression on her face. “Gran, I won’t do anything stupid,” he said. “You’re not going to lose me, but I can’t sit back and just watch this happen. They stole my parents from me, and they stole from you too. That can’t go unpunished, Gran, and you know it.”

The look he received in return was steely and grim. “I understand better than anyone what we’ve lost,” she replied. “Which is precisely why I’m siding with Harry. This is too personal for you, Teddy, and you’ll make mistakes you wouldn’t otherwise make, blinded by your anger. I won’t let you do it.”

Upon realizing that his grandmother would fight him on this, just like Harry had, Teddy knelt down in front of her, a darkness in his eyes that normally wasn’t there. “But Gran, I-“ Teddy struggled to keep his voice under control, a feral rage making his voice rough. “I have to. They have to _pay_.”

Andromeda sighed. “I understand, you know I do,” she murmured, her hands gently reaching out to stroke through his hair.

Teddy’s eyes clenched shut as he felt her stroking his hair. There were few people that could calm him, and his grandmother was one of them, if not the best person for the job. As he knelt there, he felt the anger slowly starting to melt from him.

“Do you think I wouldn’t give up anything just for the chance to have a go at your grandfather’s killer?” Andromeda was asking of him, her voice wavering. “Because I would. And I know how much it eats at you, but… some things are more important. Taking care of your mother, and you, was for me. I don’t know what is more important to you, but I guarantee it isn’t worth losing when it comes down to it.”

After a moment, Teddy looked up to meet his Gran’s gentle gaze, and his answer came to him immediately. “You,” he choked out. “You’re more important. And… other people.” He refused to say Victoire’s name out loud, or even think it to himself, knowing the consequences. “I just… don’t want to risk anything happening to anybody else. I want to end it. For me, for you, and Grandpa, and Mum, and Dad, and… and everyone else.” Without even thinking any further, he suddenly launched himself up to wrap his arms around Andromeda and hug her tightly.

Though she stiffened under his touch, his grandmother let him get away with the embrace, and gently patted his back. “Then please don’t do something stupid, love. I’ve already lost too many people. It would kill me to lose you too,” she told him earnestly. “I know how badly you want it all to be over, but it doesn’t have to be you that ends it.”

A lot of people might not have understood, at least about loss, but Teddy did. He'd lost his parents to these people – and she'd lost more. And he knew, for her sake, that he had to be careful at best, and not let anything happen to himself. Teddy squeezed her close one more time before letting go, looking somewhat guilty for even bringing this news upon her. “I know, Gran. I just… _want_ it to be.”

After a moment, Teddy sighed and stood, the rage out of his system and replaced by a genuine sense of hopelessness and even a little bit of defeat. He offered his grandmother his hand and flashed her a small, but genuine smile. “Harry sent me home for the day besides, to let my anger out and all,” he continued. “I think I can put myself to better use by helping my grandmother out around the house, yeah?”

Andromeda looked relieved at the shift in conversation, though it took her a moment to respond. Very rarely did she let Teddy help with chores now that he was moved out, though finally she nodded. “Alright. If that’s what you want.” Then, after another pause and allowing Teddy to help her to her feet, she added, “Teddy, I know you want to fight, but there are other ways to make peace with your loss. I promise.”

“Alright, Gran,” Teddy assured her. “I know. I’ll be safe.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek, internally conflicted.

Everyone wanted him to stay out of the fray that was possibly coming, supposedly for his own safety. But Teddy knew in his heart of hearts that he couldn’t just let this go. This was an opportunity to prove himself, avenge his parents in at least some form, and make them proud, all rolled into one. Was it even possible to pass this up? He wasn’t nine years old anymore, he wasn’t helpless – he had the means and the power to accomplish what needed to be done.

But what could he possibly do, when the world seemed so against him doing anything remotely useful?

The question made his head hurt, and so he filed it away for another time. Right now, he needed to focus on his Gran, and washing the dishes like she’d instructed. After all, there would, he reasoned, be ample time to think about it later. Right?


	6. IV: Waiting for Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much for your patience~ I meant to get this up Friday but... well, I got a tad sidetracked by hard cider and Assassin's Creed and food. And yesterday I was just being lazy. Spring break was a little busier than I'd planned, but a chapter was still completed! Special thanks to Niko, as always, who literally just finished looking this over for me about ten minutes ago. I don't think you guys need to be particularly reminded whom these particular character concepts belong to, hm? But as always, everything goes back to J.K. I hope you enjoy!

Teddy certainly had time to think about it when, a week and a half later, half the Auror department was sent out to investigate and capture the rumored hiding place where a cell of the recent breakouts were supposed to be hiding.

From what the department had come to understand about the breakout, most of it had been accomplished by sheer brute force. The wizard guards hadn’t been expecting Muggle violence, and so three guards had their necks snapped and their wands surrendered before the rest of the guard team had even realized what was happening. After they’d escaped, the group had apparently split up and scattered – and while that meant they likely weren’t bent on stirring up trouble, it still made things difficult for anyone trying to track them as a whole. Any chance they had to round up a number of the convicts was one the department had to jump on.

And, of course, Harry had forbidden Teddy from coming, and so there he was, seething at his desk, debating the best way to sneak an unpleasant Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes product into his godfather’s office to express his displeasure.

He was even starting to contemplate the possibility of a shock quill or a stinging fountain pen when someone suddenly appeared in the doorway to his cubicle.

“So he made you stay behind too.”

Teddy startled, his wand that he’d been fiddling with scattering to the floor under his desk as he looked up in alarm to see who it was, half of him recognizing the voice immediately. Victoire was watching him with a certain amount of curiosity, and Teddy suddenly very much felt like an animal on display at a zoo. Gritting his teeth, he leaned under his desk to pick up his wand and hit his head coming back up.

Cursing, he rubbed it, and glanced back up again to find that Victoire was still standing there, now apparently trying to hide a smile. This only made him grumble more as he avoided her gaze and put his wand nonchalantly on the desk like that might erase what she’d just witnessed.

“What do you want, Toire?” he asked, irritated.

“Well, I…” She hesitated, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Nothing, really. I just wanted to drop by and see if you had any files that needed, um, sorting.”

Teddy looked at her contemplatively, raising a brow. It was one of Harry’s classic traditions to make brand new Aurors get used to office work, since that was (unfortunately, in Teddy’s opinion) half their job in the first place. Most newbies were resorted to desk work and sorting files and such jobs that other, older Aurors thought beneath them. A breaking-in exercise, Harry liked to call it.

“Why would I have any files?” he asked, his voice taking a bitter tone, though the bitterness wasn’t quite directed at her. He was, after all, just frustrated with the entire situation. Without waiting for an answer, he went on to say, “I’m being kept out of all the major cases around here, so I’ve hardly had anything to do, let alone anything to file.”

“I don’t know, but I just thought I’d ask,” she answered quietly. “Harry told me to get all the files in order while they were gone.”

“He tells _all_ the rookies to get the files in order. That doesn’t mean you listen.” Teddy certainly hadn’t – perhaps he’d been a poorly behaved rookie in that sense. If there was one thing he hated almost as much as being a box mover, it was being a paper pusher. He had no idea what possessed him to do what he did next, but he swiveled in his chair to face Toire head on. Maybe he took pity on her, for being the newer rookie stuck with all the boring jobs, or maybe (though he refused to admit it to himself) he genuinely wanted her company for a change. “Do you… do you want to sit down, or something?” he finally asked.

Toire stared at him, her face going a little red. “What?”

He stared right back at her in confusion, having no idea as to why her face might be going red. Inwardly, Teddy felt like he was deflating in defeat. Of course she didn’t want to stick around – why would she ever want to? “I asked if you wanted to sit down,” he reiterated, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “But obviously if you don’t want to, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have asked.”

The response was surprisingly quick. “It’s… no, it’s fine.” Teddy watched her in shock as she swiftly moved to sit in the chair across from his desk, looking like a student getting ready to take notes in class. After a moment of tense silence, she asked,

“You really don’t have any papers to file?”

Teddy gave her an incredulous look. “I haven’t even been out of the office to do anything for weeks now, I already said that I didn’t. Why would I?”

In response to his incredulous look, she fixed him in a shrewd, scrutinizing stare. He had no idea how, but Teddy was pretty sure she knew exactly what was going on his head. “All because you’re not out there right now doesn’t mean you haven’t been out on other cases,” she pointed out.

“I actually haven’t,” Teddy corrected her, glaring at his desk like this was all the desk’s fault. It felt good to finally be able to vent this to someone who might actually listen without glaring at him or reminding him that he was still ‘only a rookie’. “The Department’s so bloody focused on the breakouts that hardly anything else has been done. So of course I’ve just been stuck here.”

“Well, at least _you’ve_ been out at all,” Toire reminded him. “Besides, I thought it was obvious why Harry was keeping you out of this.”

“Yeah, _Harry’s_ so hell-bent on keeping me out of anything relatively dangerous that the most exciting thing I’ve done is help catch an idiot who cursed household objects as a prank on Muggles,” Teddy grumbled in response, spitting out his godfather’s name with more vehemence than he ever really had before. Normally, he thought very highly of him.

Toire gestured to the walls around them. “It’s better than just sitting around here,” she pointed out. “And you’ll get out before I will.”

Her voice seemed to have a ‘stop whining’ undertone to it, and not wanting to make her angry, Teddy quieted. After another moment of uncomfortable silence that settled between them, something occurred to Teddy. He gave Victoire a shrewd look. “Harry and the others left hours ago. If he told you to file before he headed out… how are you only just now getting around to my office?”

His question seemed to spark a mischievous thought in her head, because Victoire smirked. It was perhaps the most openly cheerful expression he’d seen her with since they’d broken up, practically. She’d been up to something. “I might have… ah, been doing something else,” she offered. The smirk turned to a grin.

Teddy could sense mischief a mile away, or maybe he simply could because it was Toire. His eyebrows shot up in curiosity. “Give me something to do, do share,” he egged her on. Somehow, it was suddenly easy to forget that they’d barely spoken since she’d joined the force. He wondered if she sorely missed their friendship as much as he did, even if he missed the something… more that they’d had on top of it.

“I might have spent the morning twirling in Harry’s comfortable office chair and eating Uncle Ron’s stash of Chocolate Frogs,” she informed him, the grin remaining. “They both have pretty shoddy protection against burglars, really. It’s a shame.”

Suddenly, Teddy was taken back to their days in Hogwarts, when they’d raided the kitchens in search for sweets and other delicious food to share with each other and their respective Houses, or the general student population when there was a party involved. Toire was the one who’d discovered the way into the kitchens, a natural snoop if there ever was one. Her Ravenclaw wit aided her in ways that Teddy’s sheer boldness couldn’t. It might have been a surprise that she’d done something so mischievous, given her normally demure attitude around the office, but it didn’t surprise Teddy in the slightest.

If anything, he was impressed and amused. An answering smirk expressed as much. “And to think I’ve been debating what best to jinx in there all day. I like your method of rebellion much better. Any more of that chocolate left?”

It almost felt like old times again as Victoire pulled her knees up against her chest and regarded him coyly, looking proud of herself. “Maybe,” she replied. “What’s it worth to you, Lupin?”

“Dunno. What would you say to half a turkey sandwich with cheddar and some of my secret seasoning? Or, hell, half my whole lunch?” Teddy realized that he didn’t even want the chocolate that badly. He was just secretly pleased that they were having a civil and even halfway playful conversation.

It was easy to see that she struggled to keep a straight face – Teddy could see the interest that sparked in her eyes despite her efforts to hide it. “I don’t know…” she said, still struggling. “I don’t want to be taking advantage of you or anything…” Teddy knew that she probably wouldn’t have had any problem giving in if they didn’t have the past they did.

So he pressed. He was a good cook, and he knew it, and he knew that half the department knew it too. His grandmother might have taught him, but Teddy had a knack for experimentation that was all his own. “I just offered it to you, how is that taking advantage of me? What did you bring for lunch? A piece of bread?” He smirked, remembering the first day in training when she’d brought a pitiful sandwich.

“Hey, don’t knock my lunch,” Victoire quipped, scrunching her nose. “I happen to really like cheese and crackers, plus lunch is somewhat irrelevant after I ate six chocolate frogs.”

“Sure you do,” Teddy replied with a snort. “Now you’re just making me feel bad for you. Two chocolate frogs, and you get half my lunch. Half a sandwich, some jerky, and an apple.” The look he gave her then was a knowing one – they might not have been friends for a while, but it wasn’t exactly easy to forget that at family dinners, Victoire could put away twice as much as any of the adults and still not be full. “Besides. Since when have you ever stopped being hungry after just six chocolate frogs?”

“You know, it’s not nice to pity people, Lupin.” She stuck her tongue out. “Just for that, you only get one. After all, chocolate frogs are starting to get scarce around the office. Endangered, even.” The mischievous smirk was back.

“It’s not pitying if I’m getting something out of it. And you mean endangered until tomorrow, when Uncle Ron brings in a whole new batch,” he retorted.

“I doubt he will, actually, now that he’ll know that I can get into his stash. It’s a folly really, keeping them here, when all my cousins and siblings can sniff out chocolate from a mile away. As if I couldn’t do the same.” Toire looked down at her fingers, her expression turning slightly bitter. “I’ll likely be in trouble anyway if my mother hears about it. After all, I ‘ave to watch my girlish figure.” Her voice had turned into a startlingly accurate imitation of her mother’s.

Teddy paused. There was no helping the brief look-over that accompanied her final comment, and suddenly Teddy’s heart was in his throat. He felt his face heat up as he fiddled with a quill on his desk. Not looking at her, he said very, very quietly, “I think your girlish figure is just fine.”

“Oh.” Her voice was as soft as his. The illusion of friendliness between them was shattered. “Right.” She shot up, brushing imaginary dust off herself. “I should… ah, get back to that filing, yeah? I’ll see you around, Lupin.” And she was gone.

He never did get those chocolate frogs.

**~ findo narratum ~**

His short and relatively confusing interaction with Victoire was quickly forgotten when Harry and the other Aurors arrived back less than an hour later, frustrated and empty-handed. The rumored hideout had been a bust. There had been traces that several people had been using the rundown old house and had been in the surrounding area, but they were nowhere to be found when the Aurors had arrived. The Aurors Harry had taken with him had scanned the surrounding forest and pathways for hours, only to come back to the Ministry worn out and tired and unsuccessful.

Teddy liked to fancy the idea that if he’d been there, it wouldn’t have been such a failure, but he knew that likely wasn’t the case. The Aurors were good. They didn’t miss things. If they had found nothing, then there was nothing to be found, right?

But that was only the start of the next few weeks. Several leads would come in every few days. Harry and the rest of the Aurors would divvy up the tasks – and almost every single venture was unsuccessful, or it only led to another lead. By five weeks after the breakout, the Auror Department had only tracked down and caught two of the escaped prisoners, and it was grueling and thankless work.

Of course Teddy was consistently kept out of the action, but he wasn’t the only one. Victoire and the other rookies were also being held back, doing menial tasks around the office. While Teddy himself hadn’t been around as long as a majority of the others in the department, the condescending looks from the other Aurors his age, who were getting pulled into the increasingly important and large case of tracking down the escaped prisoners, were becoming unbearable. Tensions were rising everywhere. Everyone was blaming each other for the failure of the missions thus far. Conversations like the one Teddy had with his godfather one afternoon several weeks later had become the norm.

“Let me in on the case, I can _help_ ,” Teddy growled for the umpteenth time as he slammed papers onto the desk. “I’ve even tried putting together bloody patterns and doing research, look, I-“

“Teddy, I’m not dealing with this right now,” Harry snarled right back. His office looked as if a bomb had gone off in it in contrast to when the breakout had actually occurred – newspaper clippings and maps and official Ministry memos dotted the walls and his desk.

“Why not?”

Harry fixed him in a glare. “You know damn well exactly _why_ not. I deal with this from you almost every day, Teddy, and with everything else going on, you definitely aren’t bloody helping.”

“Then _let_ me help, Uncle,” Teddy protested.

The glare got darker. “Teddy, get back to your cubicle.”

The tone he used made the young man bristle. Perhaps he wasn’t as good at taking orders as his instructors had originally thought during his training. Then again, Teddy never had been good at sitting still when he felt that there was something to be done – a trait he’d likely learned from his grandmother. “Uncle Harry, you know you’ve got your hands full. I’m not going to do anything stupid if you just let me-“

“That is _enough_!” Harry very rarely lost his temper or raised his voice at Teddy, but this evidently was one of those times. “So help me, Teddy, if you ask me one more time whether or not you can get in on the case, I will suspend you from the force until this is taken care of. And it’ll be _without_ pay.”

Teddy gritted his teeth. His godfather knew that he needed the money from his paycheck to keep up with rent on his flat. Suspension without pay wasn’t an option, unless he wanted to crawl back to his Gran with his tail tucked between his legs, and Teddy was far too proud for that.

Needless to say, he’d stormed out of Harry’s office and didn’t bother him about the case again, though that definitely didn’t mean he stopped thinking about it.

So, for the next week-and-a-half, Teddy stewed. Work seemed to come to even more of a stall as more and more Aurors were out searching for the convicts. In terms of work, he went out once, to deal with a crooked potion street-merchant who’d been loitering on darker corners of Diagon Alley, selling questionable merchandise. Pointless cases were the only ones left to deal with on the wake of all the fear. He thought he heard that Victoire might have even gotten out for something once or twice. In passing he was happy for her, recalling how bitter she’d been about not getting the chance to go out. But then Teddy would always get sucked back into his anger, and it started to dawn on him how unhealthy sitting around the office had become.

Everyone was starting to get lulled into a sense of security – it was the general feeling Teddy started to get as searches started to lessen in scope and intensity. Surely, some were saying, if the convicts were hard to find and clearly not doing anything, they weren’t looking for trouble. By no means was anyone convinced that they should be left alone, but… maybe they didn’t have to focus so much on tracking them down if they weren’t a problem.

Every time Teddy heard someone voice an opinion along those lines, he bristled. They were _wrong_ , he wanted to say. Underneath that lull, it felt like something was brewing. If the wizarding world was about to be in jeopardy again, he wanted there to be action. The overall laxness felt like it was driving him insane.

Time passed. His twenty-third birthday came and went, a relatively solitary affair that he spent with his grandmother and a short but tense visit with the Potters. The corresponding anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts also came and went, and Teddy had also spent the day with his Gran, in relative silence, seething that some of the Death Eaters who’d participated in that battle, who’d _killed_ in that battle, were on the loose. It hadn’t been enjoyable in the slightest.

He stayed away from everyone. He went home early. He came in late. Harry would give him disapproving looks when they spotted each other, but Teddy was fairly sure that he was just so relieved that Teddy wasn’t pursuing the case that he didn’t bother. The only person that Teddy seemed to openly speak with was his grandmother, and even with her he didn’t bring up the case. If Victoire came near him, he brushed her off or openly told her to go away, their brief friendly encounter forgotten as his frustration over the situation consumed him.

Maybe not all of the escaped prisoners wanted to start something up again, but Teddy was convinced that some, if not most of them, did. Why else would they have broken out of prison?

He was proven right on May 12th, 2021, when the Prophet came out with a disturbing headline:

_MUTILATED HALFBLOOD FOUND IN COTSWOLD: SUSPECTED TRADITIONALIST ACTIVITY_

As Teddy stared at the headline from his kitchen table that morning, he felt like he was going to be sick. His stomach dropped and his fist clenched against the table. Whatever benevolent intentions the Auror Department had believed the escaped prisoners to have… they’d just been proven wrong.

They were wrong. They were _all_ wrong. The wizarding world could very well be in danger again, and more people could die. Clearly someone else just had. Nobody else should have to die for the notion of blood purity. Teddy’s grandfather had. His father had, and his mother too. His grandmother had lost everything, and Teddy as well even if he’d been too young at the time to understand or feel true loss. His fists clenched as he resisted the urge to throw the closest object, his coffee mug, at the wall. (His landlord likely wouldn’t have taken too kindly to that either.)

And his godfather had been wrong too. Teddy could take care of himself – hell, he hadn’t made it through Auror training because he was weak. His breathing steadily picked up, and he struggled to keep himself under control. He could even feel sparks of brilliant, enraged crimson flashing through his hair – rarely did his abilities manifest these days, only in moments of intense emotion.

They’d killed. They’d taken away a father, or a husband, or a lover, or any of those things. Blood purists were back, and Teddy would be damned if he saw them hurt someone close to him.

His decision was made for him before the thought even crossed his mind.

Damn Harry’s orders. He was getting involved in this investigation, and if he had to do it outside the Auror Department… then so be it.

**~ findo narratum ~**

The decision was almost liberating. Teddy was abuzz with excitement and adrenaline as he finished getting ready that morning, anxious to get moving. No more pointless sitting around the office, no more sipping coffee and waiting for something to happen. No more watching Aurors walk past his office, no more sitting around and moping with every day that he and Victoire seemed to settle right back into their typical avoidance strategy. It was time to act, and he was reveling in it.

But before anything else could be done, he had to make a trip to the office.

The Auror Department was scrambling. Task teams were being sent out everywhere to investigate the murder and possible leads, and memos were flying around, a few even hitting Teddy in the head on their way to their destinations. It didn’t take much effort at all to find out that Harry was already gone to the scene of the murder, which made Teddy’s job all the easier.

Nobody paid him any mind as he easily slipped inside Harry’s office. Toire had been right – he was pretty lax about security. If anyone caught him, he could easily claim he was just searching for a file. Which was true, because he was. Just not the file other Aurors might have been suspecting, since it was the file Teddy _really_ wanted was one he wasn’t permitted to touch.

He found it without difficulty. It was easily the thickest file Harry had in his desk, and half the paperwork was already spread haphazardly across the desktop. Teddy went through the papers, his eyes scanning absolutely everything he could.

For a moment, as he looked over paper after paper, report after report, he grew overwhelmed – how could one Auror cover so much ground? Teddy wasn’t sure how, he just knew that he had to try. The Auror Department needed help, and if he could help put the bastards that had done this away, then it was all worth it. It didn’t even compute that he might be doing this to avenge his parents… because in his mind, that was a given.

Teddy wasn’t sure how long he was in Harry’s office, scanning the documents and doing his best to commit them to memory. He’d write down what he could remember later, in the privacy of his own home. His investigations led him to a few important conclusions and helped him to strategize.

One: the Traditionalists and the other prison breakouts _had_ split up into at least three separate groups, as far as Teddy could tell. One was believed to have fled to the continent, and spread out on an almost individual basis. If that was true, then it would be almost impossible to catch them. Another group that had broken off might have been staying as a cohesive group, but the Auror Department knew for sure that they hadn’t fled the country. The third group, the largest from rumors and sightings, was the one suspected of having committed the murder. They were the Department’s primary target, as of right now.

Teddy would focus on the second group. They might have more information, and he could stay out of the Department’s line of fire more easily that way.

Two: the breakouts’ intentions were still unclear. The few reports that Harry had already accumulated about the murder this morning had been vague. For all intents and purposes, it simply looked like a random murder. There were no disappearances surrounding it, and it had been a nondescript halfblooded wizard. It was likely it had just been an isolated incident, Harry wrote in his notes, but he wasn’t certain. They couldn’t afford to ignore it.

Their intentions would have to be the first thing Teddy tried to wheedle out of whatever evidence he could personally gather. If he figured out what they were up to, he could catch them with more ease.

Three: the supposed safe-house that the Aurors had investigated, while it had been empty, the reports didn’t seem to reveal much else. They had found no escaped prisoners, and no Dark artifacts, through it was clear that a group of persons had been in the area recently. But nothing else was listed in the report – inventory hadn’t been taken, and the Ministry hadn’t seized control of the property.

Teddy pressed his lips together into a tight line. If little to no investigation had been done with the hideout, then that was where he would start.

Snatching Harry’s quill and dipping it into the inkwell, he quickly scribbled the Apparition location onto the back of his hand. Teddy made a point of trying to put everything back into place before exiting his godfather’s office. But just as he was leaving, Teddy almost crashed head-on into someone.

He groaned silently. It just _had_ to be Victoire.

“Teddy.” Her greeting was one of surprise, understandably, through her eyes narrowed as she realized where he’d just come from. “What were you doing in Harry’s office? He won’t be back for several hours yet.”

Even though he already had an answer rehearsed, Teddy could feel himself choking. “Looking for a file,” he managed to get out, looking down at her. Her eyes narrowed further. She didn’t believe him. “I filed some paperwork wrong the other day, Harry was supposed to, er, still have it in his desk.”

“Then what’s that on the back of your hand?”

“I-“ Teddy looked down and mentally cursed. He’d forgotten how damn observant Victoire could be. But what right did she have to question him? Without even thinking, he snapped, “You know what? It’s some random bird’s number that I met at the Leaky Cauldron the other night, not that it’s any of your business. Why don’t you go back to filing and leave me the bloody hell alone?”

Toire blinked at him, her expression blank with surprise, before suddenly her expression became pinched. She looked like she might even slap him, but Teddy had already taken advantage of the moment and stalked past her to gather up some last minute things in his own office. She watched him go, now clearly outraged, before stalking off in the opposite direction, a vengeful look on her face. Teddy, on the other hand, had what he came for. Now it was time to act.

**~ findo narratum ~**

It was broad daylight when Teddy Apparated into a seemingly abandoned field. The only sign that people had been through here was a well-worn path that seemed to cut through it. Everything was quiet, but not too quiet. Teddy could hear birds chirping in the distance, there was a spring fragrance in the air, and insects were buzzing. For all intents and purposes, it looked like a peaceful place. And it was an open area, hardly an escapee stronghold.

But his wand came out anyway. Just in case.

Teddy followed the path through the field, freezing only once in surprise when a garden snake crossed his path, though the creature paid him no mind and slithered onward, and he continued on his own way. Eventually it took him to a point where a ramshackle gray house was visible in the near distance, and Teddy felt adrenaline spike through his veins.

He did his best to remember his training. As a rookie, he’d only ever really been involved with minor cases, and simple arrests. He’d never been to an actual investigation site, let alone by himself. In the back of his mind, he wondered if maybe he should have had someone with him, but he dismissed the thought immediately. Harry had expressly forbidden him off this case – having anyone else involved just raised chances that word could get back to his godfather (and employer) about this little escapade.

The house was quiet, but Teddy knew from training that it didn’t mean anything. A few simple tests that he could remember revealed that there were no wards, and no living human beings on the premises. (The _Hominum Revelio_ charm was one Aunt Hermione had shown him when he’d first entered training.) So he was safe. Without another thought, really, Teddy made his way inside, his heart thrumming against his ribs.

But, his frustration quickly grew. Now he realized why the Aurors had been so disheartened when they’d come back. There was nothing in the house that suggested anything about anyone’s whereabouts, save for living supplies and a little bit of food. It was just an old house, with several rooms, but no hints of Azkaban escapees or, really, anything. The house hardly seemed lived in, and even though Teddy took careful note of almost everything in the house, nothing of relevance seemed to be turning up.

Until he started performing magical tests.

Spell-Revealing Charms unveiled stale traces of magic – whoever had come here was definitely a wizard, and there’d been more than one. And even though the traces were indeed stale, a few more charms and jinxes revealed that they were only a week old.

Teddy’s heart thumped against his ribs. A week. The Aurors had investigated the house long before that. Which meant people were coming back. He tried not to let his hopes get up too much – a week ago might not mean anything. It was possible, and likely, that whoever had hidden here wouldn’t come back again. But it also meant that they could have been coming to clean something up. Something that the Aurors had missed when they’d come to investigate, perhaps? The magic was too old to detect what spells, exactly, were used, or what wand it was performed with, but that didn’t matter. Teddy’s excitement was renewed – the lead wasn’t a total bust.

He returned to his search with vigor, but still found virtually nothing. Whoever had been through here was thorough. But Teddy was determined. Someone had been here only a week ago, _after_ the Ministry had been here. That had to mean something, didn’t it? Desperately, he searched and searched, until finally, in one of the upstairs bedrooms, he found a stick.

But it wasn’t just any stick. It was a wand, snapped in two, and Teddy pounced on it like a man starved. He didn’t know whose wand it was, or what had happened to it – further examination revealed that it looked as if the core had been removed, but there was no knowing why. Teddy pocketed it. It was evidence – either evidence that had recently popped up or something the Aurors had missed. As he debated what to do with it, he looked outside, and his heart dropped. It was dark out now.

His stomach growled. How long had he been at this? Was anyone aware of his disappearance? Hurriedly, Teddy scampered from the house, back to the Apparition point. His wand was out, and he continually glanced around. There was nobody about, and the light emanating from his wand made him feel safe.

By the time he’d gotten back to his apartment, Teddy’s heart was pounding. He gingerly pulled the snapped wand out from the back pocket out of his trousers, and placed it gently on his kitchen table. All night, he stared at it, contemplating what to do with it. Part of him felt as if he needed to turn it over to the Auror’s office immediately. After all, the snapped wand _was_ evidence in a very official, very important investigation – or, at least, it _could_ be. Yet the other part of him, the larger and angrier part of him, was quite content to keep the evidence to himself, and continue working on the case on his own. He’d found something that the Aurors had missed, or otherwise hadn’t been able to find. And a deep, dark part of him was more than happy to hunt down the escapees on his own. In fact, he was rather sure that he was going to enjoy the chase.

So, after a long while, Teddy decided that he was going to keep the snapped wand, and started his own case file. Which was entirely how Teddy began his career as a vigilante Auror, and stopped pestering Harry about being let in on the case.


	7. V: Partners in Crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry for the slow update! College isn't so much fun in the final month, but summer's on its way for me! Thanks for the kudos, those of you who gave them, and I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter (lots of Victoire ;])! It was a lot of fun to write, with of course the help of the lovely Niko~ Enjoy!

In the next week-and-a-half to come, Teddy Lupin seemed to go quiet completely. Nobody really seemed to notice that he faded in and out of the office like a ghost, rarely speaking when he _did_ show up, instead seeming focused on something entirely unrelated. Twice Harry stopped to ask him if he was alright, and Teddy’s answer was always the same: he was fine. He went about his business as quickly as he could, so he could get home and continue on his private investigations. What he never noticed, however, was how Victoire’s eyes would follow him everywhere he went when he was in her line of vision, and the suspicious expression on her face whenever he came up as a topic in conversation.

Her suspicion only lasted for two weeks until she finally confronted him.

“You’re up to something.”

Teddy, sitting at his desk in his cubicle, jumped and looked up in alarm at the unexpected intrusion, seeing Victoire standing at the entrance. Her expression looked formidable, as though she was just daring him to lie to her, and he couldn’t help but be reminded of when they were children. Toire had always been the sort who, once an idea was in her head, would not let go of her objective until she’d achieved what she wanted. She’d always reminded him of a bulldog.

“Bloody hell, Toire,” he grumbled in annoyance as he shifted in his chair and eyed her suspiciously. “Some warning would be nice, next time. What are you even talking about?”

Her answer was simple. “I want to know what you’re doing.”

Somehow, in that second, Teddy knew that she knew. He clenched his jaw and did his best to maintain a blank expression as he gestured to his desk. “I’m filling out paperwork, what does it look like?” he demanded almost rebelliously.

“Don’t screw with me, Lupin.” She had her hands on her hips now, and she glared at him. “That isn’t what I was talking about, and you know it. What are you up to that you’re coming in late and going home early? You’re sure as hell not doing it for sleep.”

Teddy bristled. “And how would you even know that?”

“You always have circles under your eyes, and you’re always more irritable when you’re tired,” she said without hesitation. “And don’t try to sell me that crap about a bird in Diagon Alley, because you wouldn’t be so bloody annoyed all the time if you were getting tail at the end of the day.”

This made Teddy scowl, and he tensed. Distracted now, he looked her up and down with suspicion. “As if you’d know how people feel after they sleep together,” he quipped scathingly.

Toire raised her chin defiantly. “I know plenty, thank you, thanks to my _arrangement_ with Robert. He runs a shop of his own in Hogsmeade, and we meet up sometimes, not that it’s any of _your_ business.” Teddy gritted his teeth, knowing her tone didn’t leave much room for interpretation as to what ‘meet up’ meant. He opened his mouth to snap something rather unsavory about Robert, but Toire cut him off. “We’re getting off topic. What are you up to?”

“I’ve been busy, not that it’s any of _your_ business,” Teddy retorted. “Why don’t you go back to mooning over bloody Robert?”

Toire rolled her eyes. “After all these years, you’re still a jealous git. Get over yourself, Lupin. Tell me what you’re-” Suddenly, she stopped, as if something just clicked together in her mind. Her eyes widened, and it was like Teddy could see how the gears clicked behind her bright blue eyes. “You’re working on tracking down those bloody Death Eaters!” she hissed. “So help me, Lupin, you-”

“Shh! Keep it down!” Teddy hissed back at her. “Bloody hell, Toire, just saying that out loud could get me fired!”

All she did was pull her wand out from her robes, and for a split second, Teddy was worried that she might jinx him. But instead, she flicked it impatiently at the entrance to the cubicle, muttering, “ _Muffliato extremus_.” A magical sheen sprouted across his entrance and just like that, Teddy knew they were warded off from being heard. But that didn’t stop him from keeping his voice down, just in case.

“Are you a blooming idiot? What the bloody hell are you thinking? How long?” she demanded.

Teddy knew that his cover was blown – Toire had always been too smart for her own damn good. He clenched his jaw and his fists on the desk. “Look, you can’t tell anyone about this, Toire, you know that, right?” he asked of her, unsure of whether to feel defeated or angry. “I haven’t found anything big, alright? I’m just sick of waiting around.”

“How long?” Toire repeated.

“Since they killed that halfblood in Cotswold.”

“You’re an idiot.”

He glared up at her. “Excuse me?”

“This isn’t just some little gang of troublemakers that throw around dangerous jinxes for fun, Teddy!” she snapped. Teddy was extremely grateful that she’d sealed off his cubicle with a sound-warding spell, otherwise half the department would likely have heard her. “These are Traditionalists, and some of them were actually bloody Death Eaters! They’re killers, and you’re too emotionally attached to this. It’s not _safe_ , or healthy for that matter.”

“If I wanted safe, Toire, I wouldn’t have become an Auror in the first place. Trust me, I’m being careful. Now promise me that you’re not going to tell anyone. Especially not Harry.”

For a moment, silence reigned between the two of them. Toire stared at him, and he could see the gears turning behind her eyes again. Somehow, he got the feeling that he wasn’t going to like what came out of her mouth. And he was proven right when, a moment later she blurted out,

“I will if you let me in on it. Let me help.”

Teddy’s response was immediate. “What?! No bloody way in hell.”

She raised her chin again, and this time she folded her arms across her chest. “Let me help or I’m marching off to Harry’s office right now to tell him what you’ve been doing.”

“You wouldn’t.” Teddy glared at her, and only a second later, she raised an eyebrow at him and turned to start moving for the entrance. She raised her wand as if to lower the wards when Teddy snapped, “Stop! Just… just stop, why the bloody hell would you want to help?”

“You’re not the only one who’s tired of being stuck around here doing nothing,” Toire told him, frowning. She paused again, as if struggling to figure out what to say. “And I know you,” she continued, “Like I said, you’re too emotionally attached to the whole thing. You say you’re being careful, but you’re probably being an idiot.” When he opened his mouth to protest, she held up a hand to stop him. “If something happens to you, what do you honestly think that’ll do to your Gran?”

Teddy looked down in guilt, knowing that this was something that weighed heavily on him every time he thought about it. Not to mention fear of what Andromeda would do if she ever found out. He tugged at his locks in discomfort. “That’s why I’m being careful,” he said, “Nothing will happen to me. I don’t need a babysitter, let alone _you_.”

Unruffled, Toire replied, “I don’t care what you think. You’ll do better with someone watching your back. Let me help and I won’t tell anybody.”

For another long moment, silence stretched between the two of them as Teddy thought about it. He was beginning to realize that, in reality, he had no other option. But he liked to fancy that he actually had a choice in the matter. Toire was smart, he knew that, and she was a lot better at putting things together than he was. And while he’d never seen her train, he could remember a number of his colleagues commenting on how the fiery blonde could pack a punch with her spellwork. He’d never seen her in action, but he was sure he could trust the word of others. Would it really be so bad to have her help?

“And there’s no other way to bribe you into silence?”

“No.”

Teddy let out a long, deep sigh, continuing to tug at his strands of honey-colored hair. No, Toire would be an asset, he knew that. And it might be nicer to have someone helping him. But knowing that meant they’d be in close proximity all the more often? He wasn’t so thrilled about that part. Or, at least, most of him wasn’t.

“Fine. You’re in.”

Toire brightened like he’d just told her that she could have some candy. “Great,” she replied cheerfully. “On your way out, stop by my office. Then we’ll head back to wherever you’re keeping your information so I can help you go over it.” Without another word, and not giving Teddy the chance to respond, Toire left his cubicle and waved the wand behind her to take down the sound wards.

He stared after her, not entirely sure if he was supposed to believe what had just happened. Had he really just allowed Toire in on his scheme, and had she really figured it out from only a week-and-a-half of watching him? Was he that obvious? Or was she just that intuitive? Would he actually have to take her back to his apartment where he had his file locked away in a drawer at his bedside table?

_Merlin,_ Teddy thought to himself, _I really_ am _an idiot._

**~ findo narratum ~**

The next few hours passed far too quickly for Teddy’s liking, which was odd considering on any other day they couldn’t go by fast enough. But he knew _exactly_ why he was reluctant for the workday to come to an end, and the reason was seven cubicles down and across the way in a little office that Harry had managed to procure for her.

When the time finally came, however, Teddy ran a hand over his face and let out a deep, irritated sigh and started to gather up his things. He had half a mind to just go home without fetching Victoire to avoid her completely, but if she’d meant that she’d said about tattling on him to Harry, it was a risk he couldn’t afford to take. Why did she have to be so damned stubborn? Glaring at the clock above his desk like this was all its fault, he shouldered his bag, threw his cloak over his arm, and moodily stalked down towards her office.

He shoved his way inside with no regard for whether or not she was busy, but he found her already putting on her coat. Luckily nobody was inside with her, and ignoring the smug look on her face, Teddy jerked his head towards the door. “Come on,” he snapped. All because he’d been forced to agree to let her help didn’t mean that he had to act happy about it. “If you want to get involved so badly, follow me. Everything’s back at my flat.”

“Oh, a field trip,” Toire quipped, to which Teddy rolled his eyes and just left her inside while he went to go wait.

The second she emerged, Teddy was moving, and the clicking of her heels against the stone floors told him that she was following – maybe if she got lost in the crowd, he couldn’t be held responsible for not getting her involved. But once she spoke, he knew he hadn’t lost her.

“So how much information do you have, anyway?”

Teddy’s shoulders tensed, and he looked over at her with a glare, making a gesture for her to quiet down. “Shh!” he hissed. “We’re not bloody talking about it here, I already said I didn’t have much earlier.”

Toire scurried to catch up with him, easily keeping stride as she fell in beside him, and her seeming good mood made Teddy grit his teeth. “Nobody’s listening to us,” she pointed out cheerfully. “They have their own problems. Relax.”

_Fat chance_. “Well, I _could_ have relaxed,” Teddy growled, “But I’ve got to babysit an irritating-as-hell blonde that could go blabbering everything off to the first person she sees.” The only reason he wasn’t snapping at her to run along home was because she practically held his career in the palm of her hand. Upon the reminder, a flash of irritated magenta raced through his hair, attracting the surprised glances and stares of some of the people they passed on their way down to the Apparition points.

“Which is exactly why you should be nice to said blonde.”

Teddy growled, “There’s nothing about this bloody arrangement that requires me to be nice,” and shoved his hands into his pockets, taking the rest of the trip down to the Apparition points in silence. Another part of him hoped that, maybe, if she got fed up with his attitude, she’d just give up. But of course that wouldn’t happen – this was Victoire. She didn’t give up that easily.

By the time they reached the designated Apparition point for Diagon Alley, Teddy had realized that Toire had never been to his apartment before, and that she’d have to side-along with him. Scowling, he held his arm out for her to take and felt his heart thump against his ribs. He hated that, somehow, she still managed to have that effect on him. “I’m not giving you the address so you can muck up the Apparition and end up somewhere you could get hurt,” he told her sharply when she gave him a questioning look.

“Me?” Toire raised her eyebrow at him. “You’re the one that’s Splinched yourself before, Harry told us in training. My record, on the other hand, is perfect.” Though Teddy bristled and opened his mouth to retort something (after all, his accidental Splinching hadn’t been something _major_ ), her effortlessly twisting her arm with his and almost coming too close for it to be considered casual silenced him. “Now, lead the way, would you? I don’t have all evening.” She smirked at him.

“Oh, then, by all means, go about your bloody business if you don’t have all night,” Teddy sneered. “That would suit me just fine.”

That was all the warning she got before they turned on the spot with a _pop!_ and appeared right on the front doorstep of Teddy’s flat. Teddy released her arm like it was a hot coal, and shaking himself off, pulled out his wand and mumbled the spells to alter some of his security wards before unlocking the door and going inside.

“Come on,” he muttered to Victoire, and Teddy sighed in relief when he realized that his apartment was, for all intents and purposes, pretty clean. His grandmother had always impressed upon him as a child that cleanliness was rather important, and Teddy had taken it to heart. Teddy hated bringing people to his flat when it was a mess (not that it was all that often), and something about the visitor being Victoire seemed to make it all the more important that he try to make a good impression. Even if he didn’t really know why – after all, what did he care what she thought of him?

He flicked his wand to turn on the light as Toire entered behind him. Teddy sighed. “Just… wait here,” he said. “And shut the bloody door and turn the lock.”

“’Shut the bloody door,’” Toire mimicked him, looking around.

“Just do it,” Teddy snapped, rolling his eyes even though she was already moving to do as he asked. Trusting her to wait like he’d told her, he stalked off towards his bedroom where he kept all of the evidence in a locked drawer in his bedside table. He unlocked the drawer and pulled out the file, spreading out the documents and leaving the broken wand in the drawer, browsing through the papers and frowning as he did so. In a childish way, Teddy almost wanted to keep certain documents from her, to hoard some of the information for himself so that, in some sense, this venture would still be his own.

“You’re still such a neat freak.”

Teddy yelped and jumped nearly a foot in the air. Of _course_ she hadn’t listened. “Why do I even bother?” he grumbled more to himself than to anyone else, shooting her an irritated glare. Toire didn’t looked phased in the least. He added for her, “I like to keep things organized. So what?” His tone suggested that one more snide comment from her might send him into another rage.

Toire stared at him for a moment, and right then he realized how close she was. Finally, she just said, “Nothing. Just noticing.” She abruptly turned away from him and reached out to pick up a newspaper clipping. “Is this it?” she asked.

“Since you’re so bloody keen on following me around everywhere, yes. This is everything,” Teddy confirmed begrudgingly, gesturing to everything spread out on his bed. “I get what reports I can from Harry, and I’ve been tracking the house the Aurors raided a while back. The escapees came back at least once, I’m waiting to see if they’ll come back again, and I-“

“They won’t,” Victoire cut him off, her eyes roaming over the documents. “It was too close of a call. They won’t leave the area, though.” She glanced back up at him, all business, before looking back down at the file and sifting through it, reading his scrawling handwriting.

Teddy’s jaw clenched. “Right,” he said tensely. “While you do that, I’m making myself dinner.” With that, he stalked off towards the kitchen.

Partially, he left because he couldn’t stand being in such close quarters with her anymore – too many memories. And Teddy was true to his word, he did start making his own dinner, as cooking was always therapeutic for him and probably the best thing to do right then. But as he started prepping to make pasta, a quick and easy dinner that would only take him ten to twenty minutes, he guiltily looked back towards his bedroom door where Victoire was still looking over the papers. After a moment, he sighed and grabbed for more pasta – he was angry with her, but he wasn’t heartless. And if _he_ was hungry, he _knew_ that she was. It felt scarily ordinary, he decided after a moment, to be cooking for two people instead of just for himself.

A few minutes into stirring the pasta, Toire emerged from his bedroom, looking smug. “I know where they’re going to be,” she proclaimed.

Just to humor her, Teddy asked, “And where would that be? I was watching the house because the Aurors missed something, and I don’t know why. Did you see the broken wand? The core’s missing, I found it under one of the beds upstairs. I figured it was left there when they came back after the raid or… either that or Harry’s men _did_ miss something.”

Toire’s gaze had flickered to the boiling pasta, and Teddy could have sworn he heard her stomach grumble. He had to hide a smile as she minutely shook herself and said, “I think they went back, realized they’d been compromised, and they left it. And they took the core to keep it from being identified, which shows that they’re not stupid. Either that, or the wand was a victim’s, again showing that they’re not stupid. Either way, they’re not going back there, Teddy.”

“Then where are they going to be?”

“I’m not telling you,” she said, and then added with a small smile, “yet. Consider it… insurance that you’ll keep your end of the bargain. But they won’t be going back to that house.”

“Well then where are we supposed to bloody look, if you won’t tell me?” Teddy demanded. “Because clearly I’m not any better than the rest of the bloody idiots working the case, then. _I_ think you’re just trying to buy more time to figure it out.” Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath and glanced back at the pasta. He went back to stirring it, trying to sooth his nerves.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Do you want to risk that?” Toire retorted. “And maybe you’re not, but now you have something even better than them. You have me, and I _am_ better. You know that.”

Teddy shot her a disbelieving look, and nearly opened his mouth to retort, but didn’t. He knew that, at least in some sense, she was right. Victoire was the smartest person he knew. Running a hand through his hair again, Teddy sighed and pulled down two sauces, eyeing the ingredients. Quietly, he just decided to ask her, “You’re allergic to shellfish, aren’t you?”

If she’d been about to say something else, Toire stopped. She blinked at him. “Yes,” she answered quietly, surprised. “You know I am.”

And he did. A nine-year old Teddy hadn’t realized what was going on when during a lunch at Shell Cottage that Fleur had made for them, Toire had suddenly started choking. A rush to St. Mungo’s had revealed that Victoire was allergic to shellfish, of all things. “Yeah, I was just checking,” he replied just as quietly as he put the sauce that contained shellfish back in the cupboard and started prepping the other. He cleared his throat. “If you like cheese on your rigatoni, there’s some parmesan in the fridge. It’ll be done in a few minutes, I figured… figured you might be hungry.” If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know what he was doing. But he did know that he couldn’t be cruel to Toire.

“Thank you,” she said after a pause, her voice void of any of the anger or malice it had held before.

Then, Teddy took a deep breath. “Are you really not going to tell me where you think they might be?”

Some of the hardness returned. “No, Teddy.”

“Fine,” Teddy grumbled, bristling. “But you’re telling me the second we actually have to start looking. Because if I have to include you on this investigation, that means you don’t hide things from me. This isn’t all of a sudden your work, it’s mine too. And if we have to do this the way you want, then we have to be in it together. Understand?”

He wasn’t looking at her, but he could already tell that Toire was bristling. “I’m not the one skulking off by myself,” she reminded him snippily. “And of course I’m not going to let you go blind in some other direction – that would be counterproductive. But you need to stop treating me like your unwanted kid sister and _trust_ me. You might not be happy with the circumstances, but I’m what you’ve got. So get over it.”

Teddy had as little patience as she did. “I would have been fine skulking off by myself, but you just had to be nosy,” he snapped right back. “And trust you? This coming from the woman who’ll sell me out the second she doesn’t get what she wants. You just sprung this on me! Don’t tell me just to get over it like it isn’t any big-“

He cut himself off. Toire had moved to stand just an inch from him, her blue eyes boring into his own as she glared spitefully at him. “If I wanted to sell you out, Lupin, I would have done so over lunch. This is my time off, yet here I am sorting out your problems, so give me some credit.”

“I don’t need you sorting out my problems.” His voice was somewhat choked, and other than that, he didn’t argue. Teddy had realized how close she was to him, and was struggling not to linger on how beautiful she was.

“I don’t care,” she replied hotly. “I’m here. Deal with it.”

They stared at each other for a moment longer before the blaring bleeps of the timer on the pasta broke the silence. Teddy abruptly turned away from her, trying to hide how his heart pounding against his ribs had made him almost short of breath. His hands were shaking as he started prepping the sauce and pulled down the plates. Toire had turned away from him too, moving away – when he heard her starting to go through drawers, Teddy turned his head to snip at her before realizing that she was only looking for silverware.

“What do you want to drink?” he asked in defeat. “There’s water, milk, wine, orange-“

“Water,” Toire replied almost automatically. Then, after a brief pause and she’d handed him his fork, she added, “Please.”

As Teddy began dishing out their food into the plates (feeling generous, he gave Toire more than half, knowing that she would eat every bite), he decided to try his luck again – this time by giving her more information. Perhaps if she knew more about his intentions, she might be more willing to reveal what she supposedly knew. “You won’t even give me an _idea_ of where we’re supposed to be looking? I’m trying to track down the more peaceful lot of them, to try and get information. The Aurors are focusing on the murderers, we’ve got to stay out of their way for as long as possible.”

She regarded him for a moment before sitting down at the kitchen table with her plate. “I will,” she said coyly. Teddy brightened momentarily until she added, “But first, dinner.” Maybe just to spite him, she took a bite of her pasta after having dumped a load of parmesan cheese atop it. “I see you still have a culinary gift, too,” she teased him, but Teddy wasn’t in the mood to be teased.

“It’s just pasta. Toire-“

“But as for peaceful, that’s bullshit. No one likes to be tracked down, and no one likes to be interrogated. You’re going to find peaceful is a questionable, and stupid, term. The second you push them, they’re going to get violent,” Victoire told him after swallowing her first bite.

“I know that,” Teddy replied indignantly, stirring his pasta around as he leaned against the counter. He didn’t trust himself to sit next to her or anywhere near her. “But I can take care of myself, dueling was my best mark in training. I’d be fine if they got violent. In fact,” inwardly he felt a dark sort of wistfulness swell in his chest, “I’d probably enjoy it.”

Toire considered him thoughtfully for a moment, chewing, before saying, “You might enjoy it, but that doesn’t mean you need to go picking a fight, either. Any time you can lessen your chance of being killed, take it.”

“I’m not an idiot,” he protested. “I went through the same training you did. And since when do I ever go picking fights?” Maybe it was a stupid question, but it was out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Not to mention, he’d even meant it as a little bit of a joke.

Clearly, Toire didn’t take it that way. “Gee, I don’t know, every five minutes with me?” She snorted and shook her head, continuing before Teddy could retort. “I’m trying to keep you in one piece, so we can exact vengeance or get our kicks or whatever it is you’re doing.”

Her remark made Teddy freeze, swallowing the bite of pasta he’d had in his mouth and suddenly not feeling very hungry anymore. Teddy set his plate down, feeling his heart rate pick up in sheer anger, and he started pacing back and forth.

“You think I’m doing this for kicks?” he asked her, voice dangerous. The sheer implication made him angrier than he was willing to admit. “You think I’m… that I’m just seeking glory and doing this for the hell of it?” Now his voice started rising. “If that’s the case, then why the bloody hell do you even care? It’s not as if you’d ruddy understand why I’m doing what I’m doing, especially if you think I’m just doing this for kicks! Here’s a bloody newsflash, Victoire, I _don’t need a babysitter_!” He turned away from her, yanking at his hair that was even starting to flash crimson.

“No, Teddy, you _do_ need a babysitter, but it’s because you won’t listen to reason. You fly off the handle when you’re angry, just like you’re doing right now, and the adrenaline might help you in a fight, but it also cuts off your brain. You _don’t think_ , Teddy, that’s always been your problem – your emotions control you. And that’ll get you hurt.” The irritated growl he shot her way didn’t deter her, and she continued. “And I don’t think you’re just in it for kicks. I think you want revenge, and I think that’s your right. But I also think there’s a part of you that just wants to prove to Harry that he’s wrong, and you want to prove yourself. And it’s that part that’s driving you to do all this. There’s nothing wrong with that, Teddy, but you can’t let it override your judgment. Which is exactly why you _do_ need me.”

“I don’t- you- emotions are a good thing!” Teddy fired right back. “Are you trying to tell me I need to be a bloody automaton?”

“I’m not. You know I’m not. But when you’re just letting them take you over so you can try and prove yourself to Harry, or whatever you’re trying to do, and you’re doing stupid things like this, you… you need someone looking out for you,” Toire replied coolly, her voice slightly gentler.

“Prove myself-“ Teddy swallowed, and turned away from her, putting his palms flat on his kitchen counter and feeling them clench into fists almost immediately. It took him a long moment to take in a deep, shaky breath, before he finally admitted in a quiet voice, “It’s not Harry I’m trying to prove myself to.”

“If not Harry, than whom? Yourself?” she asked bluntly.

“Forget it. It’s not important.”

For a moment, she didn’t respond, and he could feel her watching him – was she trying to figure out what he was talking about? Did it matter? “Teddy,” she finally said, “you have the makings of one of the best Aurors of our generation. But you have to learn to bide your time.”

“You don’t even know that,” he murmured. “I haven’t even… the only thing I’ve been able to do to prove myself as an Auror was pass training. That was it. This… say whatever you want about me, but this is my chance to… to make everything right.” _For them._

“Not if Harry can’t know about it. All this does is settle your own scores.”

“My way of making things right just doesn’t revolve around Harry,” Teddy replied. “And this isn’t just about me, or about you. If they’re out there, then… then people are in danger. And my-“ He stopped himself before he could say something too revealing. “It’s just a fight I have to continue and get involved with. I don’t care what anybody says.”

“All right, then.” She made it sound like they’d just settled a deal. “I don’t suppose the why matters. Just the how, anyway. We work together, we do this, then we go our separate ways, since it’s fairly clear that even the sight of me disgusts you.”

Teddy turned towards her again, now shooting her a look of disbelief. Was that really what she thought of him? “You don’t disgust me, Toire,” he told her. “You never did. It’s more… complicated than that. It always was.” And both of them knew exactly what made everything so complicated, or maybe they didn’t. But either way, disgusting was perhaps the furthest thing from what Teddy thought of whenever he looked at Victoire Weasley.

She raised her eyebrows towards him and let out a sigh. “Alright, then. Let’s get this over with now. I hurt you.” So maybe they _did_ both know what made everything so complicated. “You didn’t… and still don’t, apparently – understand me. Our relationship broke apart because of it, and maybe I don’t disgust you, but you sure as hell don’t like me, either. And that’s fine. But what you have to get through your head, Teddy, is that we can’t let it divide us when we need to trust each other now more than ever.”

_Maybe I understand you better than you think._ “Fine,” he told her, his voice flat. “But for the record, I’ve always trusted you.”

“That’s not true,” she replied. “I’m trying to help you, but you have to let me. I can’t fight you every step of the way.”

“I thought I already _had_ let you,” Teddy mumbled under his breath. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be here, and I’d be out of a job.”

Toire continued on like he hadn’t spoken. “And you have no other backup here, Teddy. If something goes wrong here, you’re screwed. So you _have_ to trust me.”

“Maybe I didn’t want anyone working with me for just that reason,” Teddy pointed out almost rebelliously. “At least if it goes poorly for me, nobody else would have had to suffer with me. But I guess you didn’t think about that, did you?”

“I did. You know I did,” was the automatic response. “But you also know that I can’t just sit back, knowing what I know, and letting you go. I… I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened.”

Teddy swallowed, and he had to turn away from her again, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the strands. Very quietly, he said, “Your life would probably be easier and happier if something did. They only person it would really hurt was Gran.” But in reality, he also knew that he couldn’t do that to her, not to his grandmother whom he loved so much. It would destroy her, and that, at least, would keep him from doing something intentionally stupid.

Victoire sighed. “No, Teddy. It wouldn’t.” She paused, as if considering what to say next. “I don’t want you dead. Or hurt, or… anything else, really.”

“And _I_ didn’t want anyone else getting killed or… or hurt. Especially you, Toire, but now-“ He swallowed and stopped himself – they were getting into dangerous territory. “Maybe you should go. We’ll start tomorrow, after work. I need… I need time to think. Just remember that you can’t tell anyone, alright?”

The scraping of the chair told Teddy that she’d stood. “I won’t tell anyone,” she said quietly, going to put her plate in the sink. From the corner of his eyesight, he saw her open her mouth as if to say something but then stopped herself, shaking her head instead. “Good night, Teddy,” was what she ended up saying after a moment of silence. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And she turned away from him then, heading for the front door where she quietly let herself out.

Almost like a robot, Teddy moved to wrap his pasta up and put it in the fridge, his thoughts swirling down paths that he didn’t want them going down. His feelings for Victoire had always been a complicated issue, but it wasn’t even that that had him spinning down a rabbit hole. It was the thoughts of his parents, images as he pictured them in his mind. Did they approve of what he was doing? _Were_ they proud? His throat closed at the thought as he shut the refrigerator door, and he glanced at the clock hanging on the wall.

Gran would be awake. She was always awake. And he knew that, right then, even if she didn’t know what was going on, that the one person who could make him feel better was the tiny but formidable old woman that Andromeda Tonks had become. Swallowing, he went to go and change (he was still wearing his work robes, after all), pulled on his coat, and headed out the door.

He _really_ didn’t want to have to go to work tomorrow.


	8. VI: Not So Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter! I had to stay here at school for the weekend rather than being with the family, which was a little rough, but we all make sacrifices for grades, right? Figured I'd brighten up my day and everyone else's with a little bit of Teddy and Toire, though this chapter certainly isn't all roses, as you'll see. Once again, extra thanks to Niko who helped roleplay out two of the scenes here~ She's awesome. ;D Hope you all enjoy, and Happy Easter! And Passover, or whatever you might celebrate, if anything at all!
> 
> (Oh, and P.S: Had to use Google Translate for some of this, you'll notice. Apologies to any and all Bulgarians if the language got a little twisted up! Also, I have a public playlist on Spotify for this fanfiction, located on my profile!)

“Daskalov, we ‘ave a problem. Speshno.” (“Urgent.”)

A deep sigh escaped the man standing in the dingy parlor, long nails scratching at a scraggly and only recently trimmed beard. He wasn’t used or partial to being interrupted while he taking time to himself, a rare luxury in the space that he and his companions had discovered and were forced to share. He only afforded a glance towards the man that had intruded.

“Mi kazhe, Bellerose. You know vere you are meant to be, vy are you here?” (“Tell me.”)

The man who had entered looked visibly nervous, sweat peppered across his brow as he shifted from foot to foot. Patrick Bellerose was a relatively jumpy, sensitive man, with a small stature and a head of greasy and uneven blonde hair. Not that any of them looked very well-groomed since their stay in Azkaban. “Zey are on our trail, too close to ze unplottable hideout. We may ‘ave to move soon, but zey have constant patrols. Everyzing could come undone if we do not do somezing.”

His comrade sighed again, this time in impatience. “Are you not capable of figuring this out yourself? Vy do you need my help?” The tugs on his beard became slightly harder. “You brought this upon yourselves, attacking that halfblood scum ven you know the plan vas to vait.”

Bellerose gulped. “You needs us, Daskalov, you cannot deny zat,” he said, as if he were afraid that the other man _would_ deny it. “And we will also not be able to do anyzing for ze cause if we are all taken back to Azkaban. You do not have ze resources-“

“You act under the assumption that ve vould free you from Azkaban for your own senseless error,” Daskalov interrupted him, finally turning to face him. “You must suffer the consequences, Bellerose, for being a glupak, but if you truly need some suggestion, send them a varning. Ve are not to be trifled vith. Someone young, vith promise. Do not strike Potter or anyone important.”

“But-“

“Potter is the prize. Ve do not act on him yet. Someone simple. That vill distract them enough for the rest of your men and vomen to escape. Choose some of your more vorthless to do it, if some of them get caught, it vill only be unfortunate, and vill get them off your trail. Now go.”

Bellerose opened his mouth as if he might protest or respond, but the look on Daskalov’s face seemed to make him shrink, and he fled from the room. The gaunt Bulgarian man sighed, turning back towards the fireplace and resuming the tugging on his dark beard. He stared down into the flames, wishing that he could pull this all off on his own.

“Idioti, vsichki ot tyakh,” he hissed in his native tongue. “Nie tryabva da zavladee.” (“Idiots, all of them. We must conquer.”)

**~ findo narratum ~**

So much for knowing where they were.

Teddy knew that Toire had tried, he really did, despite his frustration. And, in reality, he didn’t doubt for a second how smart she truly was, even if she’d made a mistake, seeing as scouting for underground tunnels and structures had turned up nothing for their investigation. They were just in the same place that Teddy had been when he’d started, and no closer to finding and capturing the escapees. It might have been frustrating, but most of the time he tried to hide it from her.

But over the past week-and-a-half, they’d fallen into an almost unbearable cycle. Before Toire had gotten involved with the investigation, getting off work had been something exciting, because it meant that he got to go scrounging around dark alleyways or searching for these men and women on his own. Or at least something _fun_. But now everything felt spoiled, because instead of doing it on his own these days, he had to do it with a girl who not only berated him at every turn, but also seemed to complicate absolutely everything.

Sometimes what Teddy wanted more than anything was to become friends with Toire again – when she smiled he couldn’t help but feel that little thumping of his heart against his ribs. When her beautiful (because he would always regard her as beautiful, even if she irritated the hell out of him) blue eyes lit up, he couldn’t help but get a little excited himself. No matter how much he hated it, she still had that effect on him, and he wondered if she always would.

But there were also those bloody times when she made him want to pull his own hair out, or scream until his throat went raw. As beautiful and intelligent as she was, she could also be bloody infuriating, and it raised his blood pressure just thinking about it-

Teddy sighed, running a hand over his face as he glanced up at the clock hanging in his office. Time to go home. At least tonight, he reasoned, he would have a chance to relax. He’d told Toire just to forget patrol for the night, because they needed time to think. And, quite frankly, he needed a break from her, from the memories that plagued him every time he saw the flash of her golden hair or every time he watched her forehead crease whenever she was thinking too hard... He just needed a relaxing evening, and relaxing meant a Victoire-free evening with a glass of his sweet wine, some Italian food, and perhaps a book that he’d “borrowed” from his Gran.

At least, that was what he wanted.

Because while he made his way down to the Apparition points, he recalled not having seen Victoire around the office today, even though that wasn’t of any consequence to him. He briefly wondered what she was doing, why she hadn’t come in, but shortly decided that it wasn’t any of his business and that he didn’t even want to know. So why worry about it?

But the second he Apparated onto his front doorstep, Teddy froze, ice freezing his veins as his heart leapt into his throat. His light was on through the window, and it had been off when he’d left that morning. He glanced through it, and was proven right – there was someone inside. But he couldn’t tell who through the curtains and the wards. Whoever it was, was lounging on his couch, probably waiting for him. Silently slipping his wand from his pocket, he unlocked his door and let himself in as quietly as possible, his wand trained on the form on the couch when suddenly that form shifted, and he realized who it was.

“Bloody _Christ_ , Toire!” he shouted. “How the bloody hell did you even get in here? What are you doing in my flat?”

She had her feet propped up on his center table, a plate of food balanced on her lap (which, Teddy recognized, was from _his_ fridge), the file papers spread all around her (which she had scribbled all over with personal notes), and a glass of his damn wine delicately balanced in her hand.

Toire didn’t even look up at him, taking a sip of the wine and a bite of the food ( _his_ food), before saying impatiently, “Working. What does it look like?”

Infuriated, Teddy yanked his Auror robes off and hung them up above the door, ignoring the fact that in his impatience he’d hung up his robes too sloppily and that they slipped to the floor less than a second after he’d put them up. He glared at her. “What do you bloody mean, _working_?” he demanded. “What did you do to my wards? They’re my ruddy security system!”

“I know they’re your security system, your wards were pretty shoddy. It only took me fifteen minutes to get in here,” she answered, nonplussed by his anger. “Now stop yelling, I’m trying to concentrate.”

“ _Concentrate_?! Why did you- how did you even get it?”

She flipped a page in the file she’d been looking at, and blinked up at him. “I didn’t have it with me, so I wanted to look at it. And it was in your dresser, which is hardly Gringotts, you know.”

Teddy opened and closed his mouth several times – he didn’t know what was making him angrier: the fact that she had done all this or the fact that she was acting as if he had absolutely no right to be angry. His hair flashed crimson. “For fuck’s sake, you weren’t _supposed_ to have it with you! It’s not like I’m making any copies of it!” he snarled at her. “This is my bloody apartment, Victoire, you’re not supposed to bloody be here! Get the hell out!”

“Which is exactly why I have to come over here and get it, no?” She smirked at him, waving her hand at him dismissively to blow him off. Before he could respond, she continued, “I’m not leaving, so you need to chill the bloody hell out, Lupin. I’m on to something here, and I can’t concentrate with you acting like I had a goddamn orgy in your kitchen.”

It flashed through his mind that it Toire was very, very lucky that his grandmother had always been particular about manners, and that he’d had it drilled into his head to never have the gall to hit a lady, because he was rather close to hitting _something_. Her smirk was only making his temper that much worse.

“Chill the bloody hell out?” Teddy was bristling, and for the very first time in a long time, every strand of his hair had become an enraged crimson. “You broke into my apartment! You stole my food, my alcohol, marked up _my_ bloody case file… and you know that? I know all too goddamn well that if I ask you what you might be on to, you’ll just give me that little smirk and not tell me, because you think you’re oh-so-bloody-smart because you’re on some high horse and think you’re above everyone else.” He spat out that last part, knowing that he was being mean. But honestly? He didn’t care – she’d pushed him over the edge, and he’d inherited his grandmother’s inability to forgive transgressions right off the bat.

As different as she was from her mother, there were times when there was no denying that she was Fleur’s daughter – and one of those times was when Victoire was angry. Toire had set the pasta on the table and also set her wine down, her blue eyes lighting up in electrified anger as she stood. “I write notes to help me think,” she snarled right back at him. “As far as the rest of it, why are you getting so bent out of shape? It’s not like you have anybody to share your wine with anyway.”

“That’s the bloody point. I don’t share. It’s _mine_. Bringing you here wasn’t some open invitation for you to come wandering back in here whenever you bloody felt like it, taking my things and acting like you live here!”

“If you’re that pissed about a bottle of wine, I’ll buy you a bloody new one.” She rolled her eyes as if she was speaking with a stubborn three-year old. “I’m your partner.”

“Partner’s a rich word for it,” he said as his lips curled back into a sneer. “And don’t even bother, I don’t want you buying things for me.”

“ _Partner_ ,” she reiterated, eyes still blazing. “And newsflash, Teddy, until this is over? Until we solve this? I’m going to keep showing up. You’re not getting rid of me, so get used to it.”

The snort she got in response was a disbelieving one, and Teddy’s hair had not yet turned back to its original color. “You act as if I need a twenty-four hour babysitter – none of this was ever a part of the damned deal. I let you help, you don’t tattle, that didn’t bloody mean little sleepovers and pretending like everything’s dandy.” Half of him didn’t even know why he was so angry. It was true, he wasn’t used to sharing, and perhaps that had been a contributing factor to their breakup. Not that _that_ was really a thought process he wanted to go down right then.

Toire eyed him coldly. “I’m not sleeping over,” she sniffed, and she sounded as if the very idea made her ill. “But I’m not going to trot off like a good little girl every time you flick your finger at me, either. It’s a bloody wonder anyone can put up with your attitude.”

Teddy did his best to hide how much her disgusted tone stung. “Do you really think I bloody care what you or anyone else thinks of my attitude? I have one goal, Toire, and when you’re bloody sticking your nose into everything you don’t even think that you might be breaking _my_ concentration. Did you honestly think I was going to walk in, see you here, and offer up snack foods to go with my bloody wine?”

“My, how surprising! Teddy Lupin doesn’t care about anyone but himself. How has that changed? Oh, wait, it hasn’t!”

Suddenly, things seemed to freeze, and then Teddy was bristling, his hands clenching into fists. He was two seconds away from punching something hard. “As if you understand a bloody thing about me, Toire, don’t even try it,” he snarled, the sound ripping from his throat. “Don’t you _dare_ ever say that I only care about myself. Don’t you even bloody _dare_.”

As if his anger was only fueling hers, she rose up to her full height, only a few inches shorter than him. “You do,” she snapped with cold conviction. “You always have. The only time you care about anyone else is if it’s convenient for you, or if it fits into you plan. The minute they don’t want to conform, you’re done.”

Her words hurt. They hurt deep, just as she’d likely meant them to, and the fury flashed in his eyes, accompanied by something else entirely. Because he was terrified that it was true, terrified that he was a monster undeserving of anything. After all, wasn’t he an orphan? Did he really deserve anything? Suddenly, his stomach clenched, and breathing became a struggle.

“Yeah?” he finally choked out. “All you’re proving is that you never even bloody knew me at all. You act like you’re the one who’s so bloody misunderstood, but maybe _you’re_ the one who ought to re-evaluate a few things. So unless you’ve actually come up with something useful, I want you out of here. Now.”

She looked as if she might smack him. “I’m not telling you even if I did, not while you’re being a proper arse.”

A ‘tcht’ sound escaped Teddy’s throat as he rolled his eyes and turned away from her. This whole argument was making him feel as if his heart was constricting in his chest. He waved a hand in her direction dismissively like nothing she’d said really made an impact. “Whatever you say, Toire, because of course I have to answer to you like a good little pet dog, yeah? Because you’re so much bloody better than I am.”

“Fuck off, Teddy,” she snarled. “Get over yourself.”

“Get over myself? You’re the one waltzing in here like you’re the bloody Queen of England.”

Something in her seemed to break right then, and as Teddy glanced back over at her, he saw that her face had gone as red as it could probably possibly go. “Fine. You want me gone, Teddy?” Something in her voice made him take a step back. “You want me to storm off like the spoiled little bitch you think I am because I’m not getting my way? Fine. Get yourself killed and see if I care.”

She moved very quickly then, bumping the little table in front of the couch and sending her wine glass spilling to the floor, the alcohol staining the carpet. She didn’t even look at it. “If I’m so bloody terrible,” she continued, “I suppose I won’t give a damn when they kill you for snooping, or when Harry finds out and kicks you off the squad. After all, it’s not my problem, right?” Toire shoved past him and snatched her coat off the hook, shaking her head disgustedly at him. “Good fucking luck, Teddy. You’re going to need it.” With that, she turned on her heel and left, slamming the door behind her as hard as she could.

For several long moments after that, Teddy stood there in the center of his living room, his heart pounding, his breathing labored as he glared at his now shut door. A part of him was screaming – how could he be so cruel to her? How could he screw something up so badly? It was their relationship on repeat, this time a quickened crash course. With that revelation, Teddy sighed and clenched his eyes shut, and realized that he was shaking.

On autopilot, the young Auror picked up the wine glass from the carpet, looking at the stain in desolation. He always had to make a mess of everything, didn’t he? With a deep, defeated sigh, he took the wine glass and picked up the plate of half-eaten pasta and took it back to the kitchen.

For the next twenty minutes, he desperately tried getting the stain out of the carpet, preferring to do it the Muggle way, finding that far more therapeutic. His grandmother always did things the Muggle way, and while half the time Teddy thought she did it simply to honor her late muggleborn husband, she once told him that when things were done the Muggle way, it made you feel “more accomplished afterwards. More complete. And, as usual, she was right. By the time Teddy wiped his forehead, the stain gone from the carpet and all but soaked into the rag he’d used to scrub it, he felt a little better. But just barely, and finally his gaze went to the papers that were still spread out on the coffee table, Toire’s writing scrawled across the pages.

Once he’d disposed of the soiled rag, he sank down onto the couch and pulled the file over as if the movement exhausted him, picked it up, and sat back against the couch to pore over them. Teddy wasn’t entirely sure why he was doing it – maybe because he didn’t want the realization that he’d driven away Victoire yet again to sink in, or maybe because he simply had nothing else better to do than sulk.

His eyes roamed over the papers. While Toire’s handwriting was neat and easily legible, she’d always written notes in such a way that made it nearly impossible to understand.

But not for Teddy.

Sure, he was a little out of practice. But he could remember late nights in the library, huddled together with Toire as he tried to help her study for whatever test she had in the morning (despite her brilliance, she’d always had an extreme form of test anxiety, and briefly he wondered if she still had it.) He could remember poring over her notes, forming quiz questions, letting her press against him to try and sooth the tremors when panic attacks struck. He could remember the conspiring whisper-giggles as they managed to stay out of sight and avoided detention a number of nights when they had to stay especially late. Most importantly, that all meant that Teddy, of all the people in the world, was able to decipher what she was trying to say.

It took him a while, but as the minutes then hours passed, Teddy carried on her work, using her already extensive notes as a foundation. Bit by bit, things came together. It wasn’t a specific or guaranteed location, or a confession, or anything, really, but it was a start. And quite frankly, that was all that mattered.

Teddy looked at the closed door, and a deep, deep sigh escaped him. _What have I done?_

**~ findo narratum ~**

It wasn’t all that often that Teddy Lupin had to swallow his pride, but he decided right then that he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit.

But after last night, Teddy knew that he had to apologize. He’d been wrong to drive Victoire away, because whether he liked it or not, she was right. He needed someone to help him, and quite frankly, Victoire Weasley was probably the only one who would do it without turning him in. She was smart, and she could figure things out that he couldn’t, as he’d really discovered last night after she’d left.

As he reached her office that next morning, it took him a moment to muster up what courage he had. In his hand was a small bagged lunch – a peace offering that he’d made for her this morning. Finally, he nudged his way inside, looking down at the floor as he said,

“Look, I… I need to talk to you about last night, Toire, I-“

“I told you I’d buy you a new bottle of wine.”

“That’s not-“ A furious rustling of papers made him look up, and Teddy blinked as he realized that Toire was actually scrambling through a pile of papers on her desk as though she was in a hurry, which didn’t make much sense to him. As far as he’d been aware, she had been just as bored as he was around the office, and yet… well, this certainly didn’t look like boring. She was prepping for something. “What are you doing?” he asked her.

“I’m working,” she answered vaguely, realigning some papers and pushing them off to the side. “I’m a bit busy, Lupin. We can pull each other’s hair and hiss at each other later, okay?”

“No, look, this doesn’t have anything to do with pulling each other’s hair out, I swear, I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I was sorry. I looked over your notes last night and realized that you were-“

“Sorry for what?” she demanded of him, not looking up as she continued to look over papers and turn things over, like she was looking for something. “For yelling at me and completely flipping your shit over something inconsequential? Well, thanks. You know, I’d love to beat you round the head about it some more, really, but Teddy, I’m _busy_.”

“Inconsequential? You broke into my apartment, but- look, okay, that’s not the point. I’m not sorry I got angry. I’m sorry that I was mean when I did, I didn’t-“

She cut him off as she cursed and blew her bangs out of her face. “ _Where_ the bloody hell is that release form?”

Teddy blinked, taken aback, and looked around him, almost immediately spotting the form she was looking for. Release forms were generally for bigger cases, and while he’d never signed one himself, he knew that they looked like. He pulled the form out and held it out to her with his free hand. “Well, yeah, I can see that, but… here, it’s- wait.” He spotted something on the form, and his eyebrows furrowed. “This is a release form for the Traditionalist case. How did you even get one?”

Finally, she looked up at him, looking almost surprised. “Uh, thanks,” she said almost cautiously, as she took the form from him. “Don’t worry about it. I’m the new department bitch as of, oh, an hour and… twenty six minutes ago?” Toire glanced up at the clock and sighed. “Look, Ron’s expecting me. We can talk about this later, okay?”

Teddy finally spotted the file folder she was shoving all the papers into. It spelled out ‘CONFIDENTIAL’ in big, red lettering, and suddenly all of the puzzle pieces clicked into place. The release form, the confidential file… of _course_ she was busy. Toire had gotten pulled onto the Traditionalist case, while he was left in the dust. The thought made him bristle. “After you get back from the case that I gave you all the starting details for, you mean.” He couldn’t believe it. “You- they’re taking you, but they won’t even consider taking me. What did you bloody do, use me? I got you the information and you just… what, ran with it?”

He wasn’t angry, not exactly… yet. Teddy stood there in sheer disbelief, and honestly? He was very blatantly hurt. Toire was capable of a great many things, and he knew that, but using him heartlessly just to push herself ahead? He hadn’t thought she would ever do something like that. But maybe he’d underestimated her.

Toire’s hands stilled as she looked up at him, _really_ looked at him. Teddy could feel her gaze sweeping over him, almost taking inventory and seeming to read him. It was a long moment before she actually responded. “No, Teddy, I didn’t. I didn’t give them any information at all, actually, and thank you for the apology.” Then, she frowned. “You haven’t heard, have you?”

The words made him wary. “Heard what?”

“Celeste Crabtree – you know, top of your class – she was struck down on a routine run this morning. Completely out of the blue, Harry just got back from St. Mungo’s. She’ll recover, but… it really shook her up, she’s talking about not coming back to the department. I sort of… well, I sort of asked Ron if I could have her spot on the case. Harry wasn’t thrilled, but he couldn’t find a good enough reason to tell me no, either. I didn’t… I didn’t use you at all.”

A part of him still hurt, like her perceived betrayal made a part of his heart sore, but as the explanation came, Teddy blinked, suddenly looking concerned. He knew Celeste Crabtree, for sure. She’d been a Ravenclaw in his class back at Hogwarts, and she’d always been a kind girl. They’d even gone to the Leaky Cauldron for dinner, once, during training, because she’d always been nice to him in school. Teddy liked her. “Who did it?” he demanded, suddenly looking like a bulldog. So help him if it had been the Traditonalists, especially since Celeste had been working on it as the junior Auror correspondent.

“I don’t know,” Victoire replied with a small, one-shouldered shrug. “Harry wasn’t really in a talking mood when he came back. He didn’t say.”

He would just have to try and find out on his own, then. Teddy only considered this for a moment more before his mind went back to the situation at hand, and his shoulders seemed to sag. He looked… defeated. Downtrodden. The fact that Toire was now getting to work on the case as opposed to him, when he wanted it so desperately… his apology was for nothing. He was alone after all, and this whole situation was just enough to make him want to cry in frustration. “So I guess you wouldn’t want to be my partner anymore that you’ve gotten your big break, yeah?” he asked quietly.

For a moment, she didn’t reply, and though he avoided looking at her, he could feel her eyes on him. “I’m still your partner,” she finally said. Teddy’s head shot up to look at her just in time to see a small smile flickering across her face. “I’ve got your back, Lupin, even if this _is_ my break.”

Teddy shifted his weight from foot to foot, feeling like a small weight seemed to lift off his chest. “I… well, if… if you’re sure. Good luck, then, I suppose. You’re moving up quicker than I am.” He couldn’t even manage a false smile, scuffing his foot on the floor. Teddy didn’t _want_ to begrudge her this, and yet he couldn’t really help it.

“Thanks,” came her gentle reply. It almost sounded like she wanted to say more, but whatever she might have said didn’t escape her, and they stood in silence for another quick moment, before she offered, “Look at it this way, now you have ears on the inside.”

“Welcome.” But her words honestly didn’t make him feel any better. “And yeah, just one more thing-“ He cut himself off. “Never mind.” It was just one more thing that she could do that he couldn’t, one more bloody thing that he was completely useless for. If he couldn’t investigate, or spy, or figure things out for himself, what good was he? To the Department, to anyone? How could he be worth anything, or worthy _of_ anything, if he was completely useless? But Toire didn’t need to hear any of that. She didn’t need his stupid problems, after all, _she_ had bigger and more important things to worry about now. To try and distract himself, Teddy shoved out the bag with the homemade lunch in it towards her before she could ask what was wrong.

“Here,” he said. “I made you some food. But you can… you don’t have to take it, since you’re, well, you know. Getting out of the office.”

Toire’s eyes brightened, and another small smile appeared on her face as if she was trying to cheer him up. It wasn’t really working. “Please,” she replied, a joking tone in her voice, “You of all people know that there is _always_ time for lunch.”

“Then take it. You’ll make better use of it than I will. Or I can just, you know, leave it here for when you get back.”

_That’s_ what he could be, he thought bitterly. The department’s cook. He could take care of everyone, acting like a bloody housewife whenever everyone else got to go out and accomplish things and came back hungry and dirty. Such a worthwhile role.

Almost hesitantly, she took the bag from him, shifting her things around in her arms with the added weight. “Thanks. I’ll take it with me, but I really do have to run.” She paused. “I’m sorry, Teddy. Really.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t as though he could really blame her, could he? Teddy swallowed. “I’ll… I’ll see you after work then? My place?” he asked hopefully. Then, hastily, “And no breaking in this time.”

Her small smile widened almost cautiously. “After work,” she agreed. “I… I look forward to it, Teddy. I’ll see you later, okay?”

And then she was gone, leaving Teddy to close her office behind him as she hurried down the hall. Their uncle Ron was waiting at the end of it, arms crossed tightly across his chest. As Victoire neared him, he seemed to notice Teddy a ways behind her, and his eyebrows shot up. Great. Questions that Teddy didn’t want to answer, but it looked like he wasn’t the only one who would have to answer them. Ron asked Victoire a question when she reached him. With a flippant shake of her head that sent her long blonde hair over her shoulder, whatever response she gave seeming to pacify their uncle.

Teddy skulked off to his cubicle, not wanting to watch them any longer, debating what the bloody hell he was supposed to do for the rest of the day. But as soon as he’d sat down at his desk, the idea came to him. Looking down at the stupid custodial paperwork that he was supposed to file for Harry, his blue eyes brightened a little as a mischievous smirk appeared on his face.

It was time to pay a visit to St. Mungo’s.

**~ findo narratum ~**

“Celeste Crabtree, please.”

The witch at the reception desk gave him a suspicious look. “Only family members and those with clearance are able to visit Miss Crabtree. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to-“

“I’m with the Auror Department. Head Auror Potter sent me here with some follow-up questions about her attack this morning. Please just tell her that Teddy Lupin is here, and she’ll let me up.” _Hopefully_.

Naturally, with everyone out from the office on a manhunt for the Traditionalists (whom Teddy strongly suspected of being responsible for this attack), Teddy slipping away had gone virtually unnoticed. After slipping into Harry’s office to obtain any kind of paper with his signature on it, just in case he’d need it, Teddy had forged a document that would hopefully get him up to see Celeste Crabtree. Then he’d Apparated to St. Mungo’s, but hadn’t gotten any further than that, because the reception witch was still looking at him with clear suspicion.

She stared at him for a long, long moment before sighing deeply and writing out a memo that vanished as soon as she was finished writing it. Teddy mentally sighed in relief. “Thank you,” he said, though he certainly knew that this was really only half the battle. If Celeste wouldn’t allow him up, it might not even be worth it to try and bring out the forged documents.

Teddy waited off to the side as others had their own business to attend to at the reception desk, fidgeting nervously with the constant fear that someone he might know would appear. But he was lucky – nobody recognized him, and his luck skyrocketed even further when a few minutes later, a return memo appeared in front of the reception witch. She read it and impatiently gestured for him to go on behind the doors.

“She’s waiting for you,” she said in her nasally voice.

“Thank you,” Teddy repeated, and then he was gone.

Auror Celeste Crabtree was being kept on the fourth floor for spell damage, in one of the critical status wards, and when he quietly slipped into her room, she looked as if she might be asleep. Teddy had to resist the urge to gasp.

It was true, a majority of her body was covered by the pristine white sheets characteristic of St. Mungo’s, but based on what he could see, it wasn’t hard to deduce what she might look like underneath. Her face was discolored – a black eye and another ugly bruise that stretched across her cheek. Her collarbone was practically a line of black across the small opening in her hospital gown, and one of her arms looked almost disfigured. Teddy’s jaw clenched, feeling the anger rear up in his stomach. Celeste was a sweet girl – who could ever do something like this to her?

“Celeste?” he questioned quietly, his voice a near whisper. If she was asleep, maybe he could come back later… or not come back at all.

But one of her eyes cracked open. “I only let you in here because you’re not a pretty sight when you’re angry, Lupin,” she said, her voice hoarse. Teddy felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, her throat sounded ravaged, as if she’d been screaming. “I already answered all of Harry’s questions, but somehow I don’t think he would send you, of all the other Aurors, for follow-up.”

Teddy quirked a tiny smile at her, it was all he could manage. “You’ve never seen me angry,” he pointed out, almost playfully.

His smile seemed to spark one of her own, though it was tired and weak. “I’ve heard stories. You always were a hothead,” she replied. Teddy’s smile grew by a fraction – that, at least, he couldn’t deny. “But be honest, Teddy. Why are you here? I can’t talk about the case, it’s confidential, you know that.”

“I know.” Teddy fidgeted. “But I heard you were considering not coming back. I wanted to know why.”

Celeste blinked at him then. “Why do you care?” she questioned him. When she asked, it wasn’t in a harsh tone, or a defensive one, but only as if she couldn’t understand why he might possibly give a damn.

“Well, why do you want to quit?”

The word ‘quit’ made her frown slightly as she shifted uncomfortably in her cot and then winced. “Not quitting, switching departments,” she sighed, and weakly raised an arm to gesture at herself. “Look at me, Teddy. I can’t take another incident like this. When we were in school, there was nothing I wanted more than to become an Auror, but this-“

“Aurors get hurt. Aurors die. We don’t live in a safe world, I would have thought a Ravenclaw like you would have thought that through,” Teddy answered, his voice gentle. He didn’t want to offend her, not really, but for some reason he didn’t like the idea of her getting scared off – he was perfectly aware that this had been her dream, he could remember her telling him when they’d gone out just a year or two before. “I never took you for a quitter.”

This only made her frown deepen. “I’m not a quitter, Teddy.”

“Then what was it, Celeste? What happened out there?”

Her eyes closed and she leaned back against her pillows, looking more tired than she had before. “I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to tell you, Teddy. I don’t think I can say anything at all.”

Teddy pressed. “Because I’m not on the case or because you don’t want to tell me.”

Her eyes open and she eyed him. “Both.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. It was true, he wanted information, and yet he didn’t want her to relive something that… well, quite frankly, had been traumatizing. He shifted in his chair and let out a sigh. “Then can you just tell me one thing?”

Immediately, she was wary. “Maybe.”

“Who was it?”

“Teddy-“

“Whether you answer me or not, I think I’ll have my answer,” Teddy warned her. “And I think I know exactly who’s responsible, you’ll either prove me right or wrong.”

For another long moment, silence stretched between them, and Celeste watched him shrewdly. He could tell that she knew she was caught in a bad spot, because all Teddy wanted was confirmation that she, technically, didn’t have the permission to give. And yet, if she refused to tell him, it would only become that much more obvious who had done this to her, and that was confirmation in and of itself. She sighed deeply, and avoided looking at him, picking at her sheets like a sullen child who didn’t want to get caught in a lie.

“It was them,” she murmured. “It was the Traditionalists. I was the warning to the department, but I… I didn’t know their names. I didn’t recognize any of the faces. It was…” A shuddering breath interrupted her, and she shook her head. Celeste would go no further. “Teddy, why did you need to know?”

The question of the day. “I just… wanted to,” he replied quietly, honestly. “But I also wanted you to know that I don’t think you should quit, or switch departments, or however you want to put it, no matter who did this to you. Make them regret their decision, don’t let them scare you off, yeah? This is _your_ dream, or at least it was – are you going to let them take that away from you?”

“Teddy-“

Teddy reached out and gently covered her hand with his. “Just promise me you’ll think about it, alright? You make a kick-ass Auror, Crabtree. Don’t let them deprive the wizarding world of a protector like you.” He gave her an encouraging smile as he stood, pulling his hand back and stuffing both of his into his pockets.

Celeste eyed him, taking on that shrewd look again. “You were always too charming for your own good, Lupin,” she remarked with a sigh. “And too smart for a Gryffindor. I don’t know why you wanted information, or what you’re going to do with it, but you need to be careful. They’re not… they’re more dangerous than the department gave them credit for. And whatever you might be doing, I get the feeling it could get you into trouble. I’ll promise to think about it if you promise to be careful. And don’t worry.” She said that last sentence in response, as Teddy had opened his mouth to say something. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“Alright, then,” he said, relieved. “Then I promise, I’ll be careful.”

She gave him a tiny smile. “Then I promise I’ll think about it. I’ll see you around, Lupin.”

“See you around, Crabtree.” And he was gone.


End file.
